Erotic songs and stories leave 'em wet at Sexy Tales show
I know it's been almost 48 hours since I performed in the Sexy Tales and Other Intimate Acts show...but I'm still hungover and no amount of masturbation has been able to make the headache go away. Thankfully I've got minions with writing skills, one of which has volunteered to write up an account of what went down at El Cid Wednesday night.
Suzy LeeLo gets down on the stage at Sexy Tales and Other Intimate Acts at El Cid.
I could use the refresher, anyhow. Please tell me I didn't get a lapdance from the Erotic Rockstar. Please.
Please welcome Orlando McKay to the AfterDarkLA.com stage!
Did you know Anne Frank got down and dirty (well, sort of)? Or that former vice president Dick Cheney's wife Lynne wrote a little lesbian fiction back in the day?
No? Well, you would've if you'd gone to the inaugural Sexy Tales and Other Intimate Acts show Wednesday night. That and you could've gone home with some free lube and cockrings, if not more.
The event, held at El Cid on Sunset Boulevard on the cusp of Silver Lake, was sexy in every which way. It was hosted by the always uncensored sex writer and educator Jamye Waxman, who's also the show's producer. Think of the Celebrity Autobiography series, where celebs read from others' published life stories with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Only instead of laughing while people perform on stage, some in the audience moan while sharing a chair with a partner.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm wet," Waxman said during one break between sets.
Having performed at similar shows back in New York City, like the WYSIWYG blogger reading series, Waxman talked on stage about being eager to do something of the like here in L.A. For the first show, she put together a hot and eclectic cast.
The night's music was presented by Fogelfoot, "America's only alternative history band" with porn journalist Gram Ponante as lead singer. Fogelfoot catered to the room with plenty of erotic tracks with both quippy lyrics ("There's a sadness in my lady/ so I feed her rails of cocaine...") and blunt hormonal tales such as those enjoyed in the family favorite, "I Jerked Off Instead." (Hear some of the band's songs on its Facebook page.)
The first act: a slightly violent/S&M ballroom dance, which was followed by After Dark's own Alicia Denchasy - the Eddy in Freddy and Eddy - who gave a quick but entertaining lecture on enjoying porn with a partner. Then we heard from writer Mark Spumanti took the mic to tell us about his first experience on a porn set in the Valley. Like how, when attending his first shoot, the actors broke the bed.
"Just like I wrote it," Spumanti deadpanned.
Your beloved columnist Barbie Davenporte seemed most at home, reading about four of her own pieces you might've already read here, including "Name Tag" and "Sextiquette." But sex stories are always better heard in person, no?
Then we had an interesting performance from the Erotic Rockstar himself, Destin Gerek, who played with one of his balls. A "volunteer" named Passion then took a seat onstage as Gerek performed an unexpected lapdance that included some stripping and a lot of dry humping. It was hot in a "Zoolander" kind of way - and we know some of you are all about that.
The penultimate performer for Sexy Tales' virgin experience was herself a virgin - at singing in public. A children's book author calling herself "the sexy librarian" with a ukulele, Deanna Neil sang two songs about men in her life ("Hey, Park Ranger" and "Sa-Juan Song") that had the crowd rolling.
Waxman then doled out some awesome raffle prizes - a luxe vibrator by Swedish designer Lelo, a big Tenga masturbator sleeve (it's like a big red can you jerk off into...in a good way), Sliquid organic lubricant and a giant Njoy butt plug made of stainless steel, some fun lingerie and some free sex positions DVDs directed by Waxman herself. And Fogelfoot finished us all off, with Ponante giddily bragging that Gerek brushed past him backstage, and that he was "gonna go home and do some jerk du soleil."
"With a masturbator sleeve?" asked an audience member.
"No sleeve," Ponante said. "Glendale's my sleeve."