6 Household Essentials That Are (Surprise!) Secret Sex Toys
Guess which one's her vibrator.
Do you live with snooping roommates, insecure lovers or overprotective parents? Does your cleaning lady open drawers and "organize" personal items that should just be left alone?
Ever failed to clean up after your morning self-love session (May is Masturbation Month, after all) before inviting friends and loved ones over for Sunday dinner, only to find your 7-year-old cousin Jenny playing with the "cat toy" she found next to the bathtub?
You're not alone, and the clever sex toy designers of the world are more than aware.
Several have put their deliberately dirty minds together to come up with some wonderfully discreet sex toys that, at first or second glance, your visitors would never know actually spend significant amounts of time in your vag, up your butt or around your cock.
1. The Fleshlight
I'm sorry, did you say something?
With the cap on, this device looks like a flashlight sitting on your bookshelf waiting to save the day during the next blackout. But remove that shiny lens cap and you'll find one of three different orifices from which the company lets its lucky shoppers choose.
Stick your dick in an eager mouth, tight backdoor or eerily anatomically accurate vagina and marvel in the customizable inner core designed to as closely match the real thing as soft silicone (with a dollop or five of water-based lube) can.
And when you're done, no one needs to know you've just jerked it for an hour and didn't bother to clean up. Just put a lid on it.
2. Vibrating Sponge
Squeeze it and make it foam.
Genius. In case you're one of the seven poor souls who haven't yet discovered the wonder of masturbating in the shower, pick yourself up this vibrating sponge and get ready to change the way you clean yourself.
This remarkably soft sponge - which suds up just as well as the next body pouf - has a mini bullet vibrator hidden inside that's powerful enough to make the entire thing buzz. With the push of a button you can work yourself into a lather in minutes and get yourself cleaner than you ever thought possible.
And, duh, it's waterproof so you can take as many showers as you want without worrying about a short circuit. In fact, we're showering right now.