4 Sex Toys That Make Masturbating Feel Like a Fairytale (Sorta)
The sex toy industry debuts its latest designs at two of the industry's largest adult trade shows in the United States and, just like during Fashion Week in New York, Paris and Los Angeles, trend reports flood the Internet as buyers and merchandisers predict the next big thing.
One of the last things I expected to see was a childlike whimsy in many of the largest companies' 2012 product showcases. Borrowing colors, shapes, brand names and packaging elements recognizable from some of our favorite childhood fairy tales, bath toys, and trinkets, these manufacturers have created collections that either fill you with glee or creep you out.
1. Maneater by Big Teaze Toys.
This masturbator toy for men vibrates, offering a strong buzz as the user glides it up and down his shaft. The U-shaped end is a perfect penis holster and, along with lube, feels pretty damn great. (So I'm told.)
But this sex toy for men is designed to emulate the wonderfully campy sci-fi horror flicks of the 1950s, with the receiving end of the sex toy molded to look like the open mouth of a green space alien waiting to take a bite out of crime cock.
2. Snackbox by Glow Industries.
These little sex toys are nothing special - basic bullet and egg-shaped vibrators with remote controls and multiple power functions. But what sends us hurtling into childhood memories is its packaging.
This collection is made to look like you're buying a Lunchables-like snack, something to pack in your knapsack and share with your BFFs at recess. The bright-colored lunch boxes feature little handles and a clear plastic "window" to show you what's inside, so you know exactly what you're about to have for lunch.
3. Book Smart by Icon Brands.
This collection is a sort of starter kit for sex toy shoppers looking for the basics wrapped into one convenient package. And so this company put together a classic Pocket Rocket-style vibrator, G-spot stimulator, and some lube in a box shaped like a hard-cover book.
Each "volume" features a cover devoted to a different genre of reading material, and the best ones are designed to look like romance novels or fairytales. At first glance they truly appear to be innocent pieces of reading material. Hopefully your parents/roommates/kids won't be compelled to read what's inside.
4. Wonderland by Doc Johnson.
This is one of the largest sex toy manufacturers in the industry and can afford to try unconventional marketing tactics to see what sticks. The Wonderland line of sex toys is comprised of five hand-held vibrators, each designed in honor of a main character from everyone's favorite trippy fairytale, "Alice in Wonderland."
The White Wabbit in honor of (duh) the white rabbit.
The Pleasure Pillar in honor of the forever high caterpillar.
The Heavenly Heart in honor of the nasty decapitating queen.
Mystical Mushroom in honor of the mushroom that the Pleasure Pillar smoked sat on.
The Kinky Kat in honor of the Cheshire Cat. (Worst product name ever, sorry Doc.)
Wonderland photos courtesy of http://4inchpinkheels.blogspot.com.