New Sex Toy Lets Men Pretend to Bang Pregnant Chicks

Ew. Please don't.

One of those sex toy companies that makes disemboweled body parts with fuckable orifices has struck again, this time clearly inspired by the beautiful Photoshopped bodies of pregnant celebrities that we can't seem to escape.

The My First Knocked Up line of masturbators is officially on the market to appeal to men with maiesiophilia, the fetish for women with swollen baby-filled bodies. Recognizing a supposedly growing niche market for pregger sex, designers decided not only to make a regular Caucasian version but also one for Latina lovers.

No. 1 on my Amazon.com wish list...

And in case you're bored with banging just one hole connected to a bulging rubber "Real Skin" torso, these male sex toys feature another hole toward the rear and even a little compartment for a vibrator.

Cuz why fake-fuck a plain inanimate headless woman with child when you can make love to one that vibrates on your balls?

It's like Christmas all over again!