T.S.O.L. Singer Jack Grisham On Life, Addiction & Cold Pee Play
Does Kate have any jealousy issues? I mean, because you are a celebrity and are constantly in the public eye.
JG: Yes, do I even need to answer that? It took a bit of time to realize what's real and what's not real. People come up to me and say, 'Oh, I love you.' It's not real. They don't really know you or love you. Kate may trip on that. I know the difference. You're taking photographs with these people and signing their boobs. For me, I've been doing this a long time, and I'm good at separating it.
Kate, do you ever get worried because he's cheated on every girlfriend?
KK: Yes, a lot. I would think, 'Yeah, I'm just another girl.' I've gone crazy jealous. Not only am I half his age so there is a level of immaturity there, but it's also routinely dealing with women saying stuff to him. Seeing someone who has a following is really hard and rough.
JG: Sometimes I laugh because it's like 'Look at me: I'm 50 years old, I'm overweight. You really think someone wants to hit this shit?'
You have a bit of an age difference between the two of you. Does that affect your relationship at all?
JG: There is a 24-and-a-half year age difference between us. Kate wasn't even born when I was making records.
KK: The worst is when old hags ask if I'm his daughter. Ah, these jealous women.
JG: OK, take it easy. Women my age will sometimes say smart-ass shit to Kate. I trip out on it more than Kate does. Sometimes I'll see a picture of us and think, 'Ah, fuck, man.' I have more of a problem with the age than she does. I mean, my older daughter is 24 and Kate is 26. Everyone likes Kate, though. Even my ex-wife likes Kate.
KK: I wouldn't say she likes me.
Have you ever slept with a man?
JG: What do you mean 'slept?' How far are we talking about? Fooling around, yeah, but not actual penetration. If I were going to be with a man, I would want to be with a man that looked like a girl. And I wouldn't sleep with a guy my own age.
What do you mean?
JG: He was a much, much older man. He paid me for it.
You were pretty wild and crazy in your days touring and playing with T.S.O.L. Did you have a lot of sex with groupies or famous celebrities?
JG: I mean, probably. Is that a good answer?
JG: [Laughs]. I was a kid. I was a kid in a candy store. Any young guy would do that. I was playing in a band and getting paid to have women wanting to sleep with me and guys telling me how cool I am. Wrecking stuff, stealing, destroying things and getting paid for it? I used to trip on the straight-edge guys who didn't have sex and stuff. That's suspect, man. It's going against nature. I'm confused when an 18- or 19-year-old boy who has it laid out in front of him says, 'No, thank you; I'll wait for marriage.' Especially if they are in a punk band. That just doesn't seem right.
What kind of lover would you describe yourself as?
JG: Selfish. I'm kidding. I don't know where the fuck that came from -- once a guy does his business, something inside his body says, 'Break away.' I always try to make sure my girl is taken care of before I'm taken care of. I just want to make sure she is OK. [Pause]. I guess, 'playful?' Sometimes fun.
Is there a song that best describes your sexual style?
JG: [Laughs]. I don't fucking know. I think it really depends how vulnerable I am willing to be. When I first got sober and even when I was drinking, I could sleep with anybody -- but I didn't want to be touched. Don't touch my face. Don't show any tenderness or kindness. You can use the body, but don't show me love. Even now sometimes, it's easy to be loving, kind, holding, touching, squeezing and kissing without having intercourse. Once it crosses the line of having intercourse, I sometimes still struggle with having to step away from that intimacy.
You describe yourself as a Christian now, how does this affect your outlook and philosophy on life and love?
JG: There's a difference between a Christian and what people think a Christian is. I don't think homosexuality is wrong and I don't think people experimenting are wrong. Selfishness and hurting people -- to me, that's wrong. Those are against my principles. I believe in having fun.
With two consenting adults, fuck, anything goes. Right? Except cold pee play. Warm pee play is OK, but not cold pee play. It's never OK. And I'm sure a lot of Christians don't want me saying that I'm a Christian -- as far as they are concerned, I'm not. You know, I enjoy the teachings of Christ. And what was that last commandment? That we love each other? Yeah.