Sex Position of 2012 Is Women on Top, But We Defend Doing It Missionary

Adam & Eve's 2012 "Great American Sex Survey" came out yesterday, and out of the 1,000 Americans polled, 36% chose "woman on top" as their favorite position, with 33% opting for "missionary" and 20% voting for "rear entry."

Adam & Eve's own sex expert, Dr. Kat Van Kirk seemed to congratulate the majority for choosing something over missionary. Our own Dennis Romero rolled his eyes at last year's results, which had missionary coming in first, joking that Americans are "fairly white bread in bed" and calling the numbers a "bummer."

Maybe we missed the memo, but what's so wrong with doing it missionary?

Slow down. We know what you're thinking. We're inexperienced, young or just accustomed to some dude drunkenly fucking us and then flopping over to pass out. None of the above, thanks.

We've hopped on and ridden reverse cowgirl (it kills us to write that, what a stupid name for a position), been bent over tables and slammed against walls, wrapped our legs around your shoulders and had them pressed back by our ears. Of course we've climbed on top. We really like it from behind, especially when you hold our arms down and bite the nape of our neck. This works even if you are terrible at sex, because it feels all primal!

But nothing has ever gotten us off like doing it missionary. So many dudes think we want to be flipped and turned upside down and fucked all crazy-like, like it's boring to stare into our eyes and prop yourself up on one arm so you can use the other hand to rub our clit (sure we could do it ourselves, but a man who wants to do this is a generous lover and you better lock that shit down). Yeah, it really sucks knowing you actually like watching us get aroused, guys. Really sucks that you want to make sure we come. Pro tip: it is very hard for a girl to fake an orgasm in her eyes.

We know porn cameramen can't get a good angle during missionary, and maybe doing it face-to-face feels too intimate in our no-strings-attached society. But sex can be just as amazing in a one-night-stand as it can in a long-term relationship. Don't be scared to connect; you're already as close as two people can get. Might as well go all the way, get a little crazy and do it missionary, right?