We Take a Tantric Sex Workshop to Learn How to Have a Seven-Hour Orgasm

What do you think of when you hear the word "tantra"? The first thing that comes to mind is Sting and his legendary sexual prowess. I've heard stories about Sting being able to have a seven-hour orgasm, something along the lines of, "Yeah, his wife is cool with his having sex with other women. He's so good at it, she wants him to share himself with other women." Or so the conversation went among my guy friends and me.

Truth is, I've been intrigued by tantra for years. I wanted to know exactly how a seven-hour orgasm worked. I wanted to know how to take a woman to the moon and back so that she'd be so proud she'd want other women to experience my skills. Maybe, just maybe, I could be Sting-lite.

Recently, I got my shot. I went to a weekend workshop created by a woman named Charu Morgan. Her website said there would be no nudity or sexual contact which, on one had, was a relief and on the other, a giant bummer.

Upon arriving, the first thing I realized is that people from all walks of life are interested in tantra. I had the naïve notion that the workshop would be filled with only beautiful sexy young people, especially because we were in Los Angeles. This was not the case.

Charu explained to the newbies that Tantra is "meditation during sex," which was not good news, because I am terrible at meditating.

Charu lead us through our first exercise, going back in time to various ages and trying to remember moments when we felt loved. I could hardly come up with any. Turns out, everyone else had the same trouble. "If you don't remember being loved, how does this affect your ability to love now?" Charu asked. She went on to say that if you can't be present with yourself, you can't possibly be present with your partner. Uhhh ...

The rest of the weekend consisted of exercises focused on creating an awareness of what our beliefs about sex are and how they're held in our bodies. Small groups formed and we all shared our sexual histories with three other people. A sweet German man told the heartbreaking story of his first love who left him for another man. He was there to feel love again. An older lady talked of the sexual abuse she endured from a neighbor and how it has affected her relationships to this day. And finally, there was the sweet and nerdy gentlemen who I would never in a million years expect to be at a tantra workshop (along with his wife). They got married very young and decades later were looking for a way to deepen their connection and improve their sex lives. This kind of unfiltered honesty makes you incredibly raw and the vulnerability makes you feel close to people who only an hour earlier were virtual strangers.

Here I thought I was going to learn how to have sex for seven hours; instead, some serious epiphanies sucker punched me.