5 Tips For Giving a Great Blow Job
Photo by Photos by Mavis/Flickr
The first time I ever gave head, my then-boyfriend came in my mouth before I had time to say, "are you almost finished here." I was 16, and after it happened, I looked back up at him for reassurance. I was a hot mess - semen dripping down the side of my face, hair disheveled, mascara running off of one eye. He took one look at me and grimaced.
"Oh, God," he said.
Not in a good way.
Anyway, that was years ago, and I'm happy to report that my technique has improved, as have my bedroom manners. But oral sex comes naturally for exactly no one, and so we've recruited Kristen Tribby, a sex educator at The Pleasure Chest, to give us some tips. Today, we'll cover how to give an outstanding blow job.
1. Hands are the key to using your mouth
So! You thought blow jobs were only done with your mouth. Well, you've been approaching it all wrong. Hands are an essential part of a good beej, Tribby said in an email, because hands can create the kind of friction that a mouth can't.
"A great blowjob is often a combination of using your hand to tug on the penis while adding sensation and suction with your mouth," she said. "You can also use a finger or two to put pressure on the perineum (the taint) for an external prostate massage. If you press on this, you can really enhance a man's orgasm."
Tribby adds that "if you've negotiated it," you can lube up a finger and slip it into his ass.
2. Good news! You don't have to deep throat
Anyone who has ever had a cock in his or her mouth understands the pressure to deep throat. You just kind of feel like you have to. But good news! Deep throating is "not necessary," said Tribby.
However, should you want to take an entire penis all the way down your esophagus, Tribby suggests that the best way to do so is to have the natural curve of the penis in question follow the natural curve of your throat.
"Try it first with him on his back and you on your side," she said. "Keep your hand on the base of his cock to go at your own pace. Swallow when you feel like you have reached your limit which will help to go further and widen your throat."
3. Don't neglect the balls
I feel like this is something that everyone knows, but kind of ignores. Balls just kind of hang there, right? You can always cup them if you want to, but who feels like doing that? Well, says Tribby (and I paraphrase), stop being such a lazy asshole.
"Most guys like their balls being cupped during a blowjob," she said. Simple enough.
4. Men have brains too
Poor men. They've been depicted over and over as imbeciles who are driven solely by their dicks, but in fact, turns out that they have brains just like the rest of us. And Tribby notes that those brains sometimes need stimulation just as much as the balls you hold in your hands.
"The best BJs begin with the brain," she says. "Both of you should be turned on for a good BJ. Build up the tension with dirty talk."
5. A final tip: Vibration
I asked Tribby what her favorite unconventional blow job tip was, thinking I'd get hit with some dominatrix shit that I'd never even heard of, but in fact what she said was fairly straightforward: Vibration.
"Men typically think [vibration] is only for women," she said, but "you can use a vibrator behind the balls, pressed against the perineum, to really intensify his experience."
So! Bust out that pocket rocket, cup those balls, and warm up your hands. Tonight, you're going in for the kill.
Stay tuned next week for our tips on cunnilingus!