Tips For Avoiding a Cockblock
Photo by John Loo/Flickr
A few weeks ago, we discussed the five worst kinds of cockblocks. These interfering types include those people who physically get in the way of your sexual encounter, those who emotionally get in the way, and even when you yourself get in the way (the dreaded "self block").
But here's the good news: cockblocks aren't entirely unavoidable. There are a few steps that you can take to at least try to reduce the likelihood of having your coitus (or, sadly, would-be coitus) interrupted.
Step One: Establish ground rules and goals for the evening before you go out. Talk to your friends the same way you might talk to a group of co-workers with whom you're forced to do a project; recognize where problems might arise, and cut them off at the pass.
During this time of open and honest communication, set up a system whereby it can be clear throughout the night when sex might be about to happen. This way, there will be no confusion about your goals, no surprises when you tell your friends you want to leave for the evening and suggest (or indeed, insist) that they take a cab home, no hurt feelings when you turn your attention to your potential lover.
Step Two: Once you're out and about, should you find that you meet someone who's part of a large group, it's crucial that you befriend that entire party. Try not to make it extremely obvious that you could give two shits about your target's companions because all you want to do is have sex with the one person you have your eye on. Employ, perhaps, the same kind of appropriate question-asking that you might at a dinner party. Ask questions. Engage. Buy drinks.
Then, when you leave with your conquest, you run a much smaller risk of being intercepted by a bunch of people who don't like you.
Step Three: After you've sealed the deal, be sure to take the extra five minutes and look around the place that you've decided to make your proverbial bed. Make sure that it's nice and secluded, that there are no lingering roommates or family members or unwelcome strangers.
This is easier said than done; after all, if we could always find a secluded area, we might never run the risk of a cockblock in the first place. But simply ensuring that you're alone in an apartment, or that there isn't someone parked in the car next to you could mean the difference between your sexual gratification and your lasting and painful sexual frustration.