4 Reasons New Year's Eve Sucks When It Comes To Sex
Photo by e_calamar/Flickr
Tonight is New Year's Eve, which means that there's all kind of pressure to have a good time and kiss someone and possibly even get laid. But all that pressure means that NYE is kind of the worst night of the year, in some ways, when it comes to your sex life. Here's why.
1. Is that midnight kiss really all that romantic?
Let me just say this: Fuck you, the midnight kiss. If you're single, you're either sitting alone in a corner when midnight hits trying to look like you don't care but choking back tears or making out sloppily with whoever you happen to grab at that moment, only to realize two seconds after midnight that this person is somehow repugnant to you, at which point you spiral into a panic that you've now set the tone for the entire year. If you're coupled, well, gross. PDA.
2. New Year's Eve sex is forced
See above. If you're single and you bone a stranger on December 31/January 1 you run the risk of regret, and January 1 regret is the worst regret. If you're in a relationship, NYE sex feels obligatory, like birthday sex or Valentine's Day sex, and obligatory sex is rarely the best sex.
3. Sex takes on a whole new meaning
Most of the time, during the year, you can just have sex without really worrying too much about it. But on New Year's Eve, you feel like whatever sex you do or don't have means something about the new you in the new year, when in fact, January 1 is just the day after December 31, and it's hard to become a new person in 24 hours. But still. With all the pressure to correct everything that is and has ever been wrong with your life in the new year, sex becomes part of the equation. Therefore, stressful sex.
4. Sitting at home seems appealing, but if you do that and you're single you will not kiss anyone let alone sleep with them
Sitting at home sometimes seems like a fun thing to do on New Year's Eve. Clubbing sucks, parties are overrated, and going out to a restaurant or bar is a $100+ endeavor on this special, special night. But if you're single and you sit at home, you definitely won't get any to kick off the New Year, and that might make you sad come 12:01, January 1, 2013.