14 Things You Should Never Say in Bed

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Flickr Creative Commons
I think if you ask someone during sex "Do you think you're going to come?" you should expect "Not now I'm not" to be the answer. Or another response might be, "Oh, I'm sorry; is this BORING YOU? Do you have someplace you need to be?" Because the question implies that you'd like whatever is transpiring to be over soon.

But a friend of mine had a more charitable take on it, saying, "I've said that to guys I'm blowing. That shit gets tedious." And she's right, it can get tedious. But personally, I consider asking for orgasm ETAs something you shouldn't actually say out loud. Whether such inquiries would anger or annoy you might depend on how sensitive you are, but there are other things said in the sack that aren't so open to debate in terms of appropriateness. And in terms of super-creepiness. I probed colleagues about the worst, most bonerkilling things they'd ever heard in bed. Here are some of our favorites from an informal poll:

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5 Things Guys Do That Can Turn Off a Woman Instantly

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Flickr/jeffedoe
No floss, no mouthwash, no way.
Ladies, you know that sinking feeling that comes when a guy with romantic potential suddenly pulls a move so unnerving that it eradicates all of your previously held feelings of warm attraction? Yeah, we know you do. These are the top five things men do (or don't do) that turn desire into simply a desire to run.

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Study: Single Women Focus on Career When Eligible Men Seem Scarce

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Image: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

She probably doesn't have a problem finding a man.

New research from the University of Texas in San Antonio claims that women have a lack of male attention to thank for their career success. The study, published April 2 in the Journal of Personality and Psychology, offers up the idea that women tend to pursue high paying careers more often when there is a lack of suitable men in the area.

Apparently, if ladies have to "fend for themselves" financially and emotionally, they are more likely to concentrate on establishing themselves on the career ladder, and they put finding a mate and reproducing on the back burner. Well, duh.

Researchers used a number of different methods to gather their information, some of which leave a little to be desired. They examined the sex ratio of males to females in each of the 50 states, compared it with the percentage of women in the top 10 career spots, and from that information gleaned these findings:

"Sex ratios involving a scarcity of men led women to seek lucrative careers because of the difficulty women have in finding an investing, long-term mate under such circumstances," researchers wrote. "Accordingly, this low-male sex ratio produced the strongest desire for lucrative careers in women who are least able to secure a mate. These findings demonstrate that sex ratio has far-reaching effects in humans, including whether women choose briefcase over baby."
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Image: Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I'd probably pick the briefcase.

So far, this makes sense, right? If there's a lack of men, there's a lack of long-term heterosexual relationships. If there's a lack of relationships, there's a lack of babies and families. Obviously, women have more time to work on their careers if they don't have a spouse and four children to run around after. Put two and two together and come up with an answer that we can safely assume is four.

But then researchers performed two surveys using groups of women still in college to see where they would rank the importance of having a career over the importance of having a family. They deduced from this survey that women in a population that was female-dense would rate career as more important. They also found that women who ranked themselves as less attractive to males would also prefer to concentrate more on their jobs. Um, OK.

However, what they have failed to consider is that all of the women interviewed were between the ages of 19 and 22. What self-respecting, university-attending girl of that age says she wants a man and babies more than she wants to be successful and happy in her career? It is just not the done thing these days -- heck, it hasn't been en vogue since the 1950s.

And seeing as though these women don't yet have degrees, they also don't yet have careers, making their survey responses simply predictions of what decisions they might make later in life.

But most curious about this research study is the lack of attention to the male side of the equation. If a man is successful in his chosen career, is it because he is driven and ambitious or the result of a scarcity of eligible bachelorettes? Hard to say...but let's cross our fingers that researchers somewhere in the world are surveying a handful of 19-year-old high school graduates for the answer.

Cuz that's certainly where the truth lies!

New Dating Services Turn to Klout & 'Sex in the City' Reruns for Matchmaking Success

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Tired of that sinking feeling you get from searching through endless online dating profiles only to come up empty? Too afraid to venture into the crowded bar scene hoping to have an audible conversation with someone before his/her fourth beer? Dating isn't easy -- it's not always pleasant, either -- but there are some new tools out there to help us find our mates without embarrassing ourselves too much.

A recent New York Times article has unveiled a new face of dating as seen across the country.

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7 Tips for Better Toilet Etiquette (Hint: Guys, Put the Seat Down)

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David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tell him how you really feel.

Living with the opposite sex isn't easy. Both genders possess domestic idiosyncrasies that drive our mates wild, and not in a good way. Whether you forget to put the dishes in the dishwasher, leave food out on the counter, squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end, or leave the seat up after you've peed -- we all do things around the house that piss off our partners.

So imagine the impression we leave while in the dating phase.

Guys: One wrong move and a turn-on can become a get-out, with that in mind I've put together a simple check-list to assure you avoid crossing any bathroom boundaries before you get a chance in the bedroom.

This is toilet etiquette that you dudes should always adhere to -- but specifically when visiting a chick's commode.

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Pro-Tips: How To Pick Up Women In Dive Bars

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Flickr: Julie Jordan Scott

My definition of class is admittedly a little different from most. I like a good bottle of $15 Scotch, a pack of $5 cigars, and bars with fish trophies on the wall. While most people spent their 20s in dance clubs and "Irish" pubs, I gravitated toward the dive bar.

Dive bars show you a lot about life. You get to mix with the people...the drunken, oversexed people. And you're probably going to find more than one women-type who'll not only go shot for shot and then straight home with you -- but only if you do it right.

So here's how:

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Showtime's Gigolos Star Steven Gantt's Guide to Getting It On (for Free)

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Forget about Californication, Showtime's sexiest and guiltiest pleasure has got to be Gigolos, the reality show that chronicles the lives of five diverse men living in Las Vegas and practicing the world's oldest profession: "escorting," aka providing sex for money.

Though the show -- season one is available on DVD and Netflix, while season two is currently available via Showtime on Demand -- has been met with controversy and skepticism about both the validity and legality of the transactions shown, it's proven to be an international cult favorite regardless.

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Match.com Releases Singleton Sex Survey, Reports 'Smart, Funny & Hot' As Most Wanted (Duh)

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You'd Be Smiling Too...

Online dating factory Match.com has gone Kinsey with today's partial release of the results of their second annual Singles In America study.

This comprehensive survey of single men and women, (who, according to Match, make up a third of the adult population in the United States, so don't feel so bad about your solo ass), was done in association with biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, sex and relationship therapist Dr. Laura Berman, and a few other science-type people with important sounding titles.

Among their findings:

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