What is it about sports that makes everyone go crazy? Seriously, they're entertaining and all, but its just a game. Why do people get so into it? Oh wait...
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Not exactly Shakespeare.
You may have heard of this book that media pundits and housewives alike are gushing about on camera and at brunch while trying not to squirm in their seats. It's called "Fifty Shades of Grey" and was written by an English housewife whose obsession with "Twilight" led her to create an irritatingly similar storyline and publish it as an amateur e-book.
The only differences being no vampires, no glitter, lots of bondage, and far too much fantastical fucking.
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| flickr.com/karrienodalo |
Time to break out that sample size hotel lotion in your desk drawer and peep through these titillating album covers. In honor of last month's #RSD12, here are some horn dog examples of why you should pony down to your local indie music store and buy some vinyl. Or you can stay indoors -- on the internet, diddling.
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You know the type. She's the stunningly beautiful chick standing across who is completely out of your league. Here are five reasons why she'll never sleep with you. Like, ever. 
Flickr/KendraKaptures Dream on dude, it's not happening.
http://www.mxpfoto.com/ Better get down to business.
May is Masturbation Month!
For those of you who don't already consider every month to be one worthy of jerking it every day, here is a solid set of 30 days during which you're allowed -- no, expected -- to carpe diem and carpe your private parts.
Your weekly breakdown:
And as I say every year, stay hydrated and avoid cramping and carpal tunnel because celebrating this blessed holi-month can take a lot out of you. (Literally...see what I did there?)
Here are 5 great -- and easy! -- ways you can celebrate Masturbation Month this year:
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| Flickr / renneville |
Having trouble achieving that hard-on? Need help lubricating your flower? Well, these songs can help! If you're into music as foreplay, here are some suggestions to add to your iTunes library. Chase strange, do the nasty, and don't forget to pay for your music!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/epiclectic/3052040938 I doubt this will work.
Congratulations! You got your conquest to your bedroom! He or she is practically a done deal. All you need to do is pour a glass of wine/ whisky/ redbull and vodka and get them there clothes off!
Oh, and set the mood. You have to pick the perfect music to bone to.
Sure you can hit that Barry White CD. Or Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" will probably get you a whole lotta ass.
But just in case you're wonderin'...
Here are 5 songs that will for sure debone any dick and dry up any vag. Consider yourself warned:
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Wikimedia Commons/Lytton John Musselman It's spring, and vaginas are in full bloom.
Spring has officially sprung and the floral kingdom is spreading its tulips faster than a newly divorced cougar at Coachella. There's a reason the birds and the bees just can't stop making sweet, sweet love to the plant world this time of year. Flowers are just plain sexy.
Check out five flowers that look like vaginas:
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I bet she knows about these condoms.
Condoms. In a perfect world we'd all use them to prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases and common fornication-related ailments, but in reality men and women across the country (and around the world) often choose to forgo the sheath with the hope of more satisfying sex.
I'd be lying if I told you I love condoms, that I have used them every single time I've had sex with a non-monogamous partner, and that they were affordable and tons of fun to purchase in bulk.
So I'll be frank: latex can make your vag itch, the imminent friction can dry you out, and while condom-adorned intercourse feels good (it's still sex, for Pete's sake) it certainly alters the amount of physical sensation you feel during the act.
But as many sex educators out there will tell you, no 30-second orgasm -- even those squirting ones -- is worth a lifetime of herpes or a recurring case of HPV that'll make it even harder to get approved for health insurance. Not to mention the whole preggers possibility.
So if condoms are the only option, why not try a brand that's made specifically to make the entire experience more enjoyable?
Here are five premium -- yet still affordable -- condom brands that help make safe sex sexy.
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With spring in the air and gas prices through the roof, there's no better time to be a bicycle person. Cyclists get to cruise through bumper-to-bumper traffic, park almost anywhere, and feel morally superior to the rest of us fossil fuel chuggers.
wandee007/FreeDigitalPhotos.net An inefficient method of protecting your genitals while cycling.
The one drawback? They have to travel sitting directly on their junk.
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Don’t be surprised if one of the dancers doesn’t give you... More >>
Silver Reign, with the club catering to a higher end and celebrity... More >>
