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That's not the only thing he'll be eating tonight.

The search for that new thing, the "all-natural" pill or seven-day hands-on intensive that'll make sex better and happen more often never quite ends. And while all that stuff might work (placebo effect or not) they're not the most affordable way to boost your libido and set your curious mind at momentary ease.

And that's why many of us turn to aphrodisiacs, foods that naturally occur in our cabinets and refrigerators and, when eaten at opportune times, can put a little tingle in our step. But what happens when oysters (acquired taste) and chocolate (calories) get old and we just want to eat fast food before we bone?

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What are YOU thinking about?

A recent study conducted at the University of Granada (random?) asked 2,250 Spanish hetero men and women about their sexual fantasies and found that, regardless of "Fifty Shades" obsession, women's intimate desires included more than their fair share of domination scenarios.

And guys were more than happy to imagine swapping wives, doing the hot MILF at the playground, or gathering together a group of nymphos to go at it no holds barred.

Doesn't seem to be too much of a culture shift here...ask any of your male and female friends and (especially after a margarita or three) they'll be more than happy to admit their dirty minds have room for very similar sex scenarios.

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Time to take my vitamins!

It's hard to argue how an orgasm could NOT be good for anyone's health, so it's easy to believe that there are true-blue proven health benefits to having multiple O-faces in a day.

Sex with yourself is a stellar way to maintain mental health and sanity for obvious reasons -- you can have it as many times a day as you can find a semi-secluded area in which to do it. And the endorphin rush following that wave of ecstasy is enough to calm the nerves, soothe the soul, and flush your cheeks into a healthy post-auto-coital glow.

But did you know there are actual medical benefits to having an orgasm? Here are six good ones...as if you needed incentive to diddle yourself. (Or someone else.)

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Treat yourself. On a budget.

We love sex toys and we love fancy things, but most of us can't afford to spend top dollar on a luxury vibrator that may or may not get the job done. So we scoured the Internet and found the highest-quality mini vibes that pack major punch for a price tag that's under $30. (In no particular order.)

So for the price of dinner and a movie for one (we're rolling solo here) you can head to your local sex shop and check out these top picks. And for those of you without access to an adult store that doesn't make your skin crawl, bounce online and patronize a boutique that deserves your business -- we love The Pleasure Chest, Babeland, Coco de Mer, and Good Vibrations.

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TLC is the network for procrastination and spending Sunday afternoons unshowered, wearing leggings, and nursing hair of the dog. It also is the go-to spot to discover human beings you never knew existed. Like the kind who compulsively eat drywall ("My Strange Addiction") and teach their 3-year-olds how to krump dance ("Toddlers and Tiaras").

But there's one show near and dear to my hard-on and that's "Strange Sex." Starting its third season on Sunday night, this series delves into the sexual lifestyles, issues and experiences of men and women often like you and me (on the outside) eager to eliminate as much related stigma and misinformation as they can.

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I'll take the pink one.

Condom review and safe sex info site Lucky Bloke is in the midst of Mission: Great Sex!, what its founders call the most comprehensive condom review process ever.

A selection of men, women and couples of all sexual lifestyles were sent a slew of condoms from the nation's top brands and told to fuck a lot and report back whether or not they liked the protective sheaths they'd been assigned to wear.

Kimono, Lifestyles, TROJAN, Durex...all the basics are there, plus more than a few wildcards, all in the hopes to have every popular-ish condom reviewed and listed on one website. Presumably so you and I can hop on and choose what's best to get the job done before we bump uglies.

Cuz there are a lot of condom brands out there that you don't know about -- but definitely should!

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Get creative.

The Internet says that today is National No Bra Day, which makes total sense because last week was Independence Day and the following was devoted to the art of face sucking. July's holidays are prioritized, obvi.

And while the holiday's official Facebook page (which makes it a zillion percent legit) reads as though this day is in honor of unleashing breasts from oppressive lace, underwires and clasps, it's hard to believe that the idea was developed with Girl Power in mind.

Sidenote: 259,668 "attended" today on Facebook. I was not invited.

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I love July 6th.

Today is National Kissing Day (because we needed a calendar excuse to do it) and Craigslist, Facebook and OKCupid is teeming with wannabe worthy face-suckers to help you celebrate this post-Independence holiday.

But before you do, keep in mind that not all of you are the oral Casanovas that years of drunken mouth excavations have led you to believe. And it's understandable -- when you're wasted, or just waiting for the cab to arrive, odds are you aren't going to waste any time instructing your partner of how best you like to be licked...on your face.

But there are some serious kissing disasters going on every second of every day. And since some nympho decided to make today the official day to smooch your way to a better job, bf/gf, or discounted smog check, we thought it'd be helpful to alert you of potential tonsil hockey tragedies.

You know...so you don't do them. (You know who you are.)

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A Berlin-based latex designer has teamed with German lifestyle magazine TUSH to create a particularly kinky Barbie wardrobe to raise money for a "Design With Barbie" charity project.

This isn't the same project that everyone's favorite grammatically incorrect -- but anatomically endowed -- rap-popstress Nicki Minaj hooked up with in December, but it doesn't really matter because obviously latex kinky-time Barbie is the clear winner of this beauty contest.

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Ready for a work out.

Just in time for summer beach bod season, the wonderful minds at Yahoo! Italy (love those sexy Italians...) have figured out approximate calorie counts for the various sex acts we all love to practice in the dark.

If you haven't yet woken up from a random sex spree and attempted to calculate how many calories you burned while performing unmentionables, you're either lying or doing it wrong.

But now you can print out this handy dandy list and never wake up wondering again!

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