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I think if you ask someone during sex "Do you think you're going to come?" you should expect "Not now I'm not" to be the answer. Or another response might be, "Oh, I'm sorry; is this BORING YOU? Do you have someplace you need to be?" Because the question implies that you'd like whatever is transpiring to be over soon.

But a friend of mine had a more charitable take on it, saying, "I've said that to guys I'm blowing. That shit gets tedious." And she's right, it can get tedious. But personally, I consider asking for orgasm ETAs something you shouldn't actually say out loud. Whether such inquiries would anger or annoy you might depend on how sensitive you are, but there are other things said in the sack that aren't so open to debate in terms of appropriateness. And in terms of super-creepiness. I probed colleagues about the worst, most bonerkilling things they'd ever heard in bed. Here are some of our favorites from an informal poll:

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Image: SweetCrisis / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You can't tell, but he's hung like a horse.

It's official. Art truly can come from anywhere -- even sources you never thought existed.

Maria Fernanda Cardoso, an Australian artist based in Sydney, has somehow managed to create an art exhibition out of insect genitalia. The fact that insects even have penises and vaginas is thought provoking enough, but Cardoso took the liberty of dedicating thousands of hours of time to studying the anatomy of different creepy crawlies and recreating them for the sake of art.

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Flickr: BadgerGravling

Sex Robots of 2012

If you're a man with extra scratch and a distaste for commitment, you've probably already considered meeting certain..."needs" with professional help. In Los Angeles, there's certainly no shortage of women of the night or women of the Internet, depending on your preference.

Still, a sex worker comes with a lot of strings attached. Right or wrong, it's hard not to wonder what other cocks have been in her that day and what strange new diseases busted through the latex.

For those with a religious upbringing or bleeding heart political leanings, the guilt of paying a woman for sex can be too much to bear. So you'll be happy to hear that researchers at he Victoria Management School in Wellington, New Zealand, are prediction the best innovation this side of Internet porn: robot hookers.

Don't lie: You know you've considered this before. Maybe it was when you watched "Blade Runner" or perhaps you're a fan of Anton LaVey, who saw robots as both an end to human labor and human sexual frustration. But whether your fantasy is about having your own private pleasure droid or just a woman incapable of saying no, you're about to get it -- and probably just about anything else you can think of.

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Daniel Rolnik

As I walked into JANCAR Gallery this month, I was greeted at the door by a gaping pussy. Or, rather, one seamlessly attached to a stuffed animal by the artist Micol Hebron -- who, just a few months ago, wrapped up her solo show in the same space.

However, at that time, she had the whole gallery row of Chung King Road talking about her vaginal fountain composed of crystals, instead of her hilarious puppy on the verge of a queef.

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Flickr/dmott9

Natural what?

Hot for teacher? In Arkansas, that's just fine. A vote last week by the Arkansas Supreme Court struck down a state law banning teachers from engaging in consensual sexual relationships with students 18 years and older.

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photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Let's ditch this joint.

Hey kids, hugging leads to kissing, then to groping and in the end -- sex. Right?

That's the formula Cliffwood, N.J., Principal Tyler Blackmore is suggesting by banning all 900 children of Matawan-Aberdeen Middle School from hugging each other. To protect them, of course.

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Robert Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Just don't.

A man who purchased sausage from a German butcher shop was later detained by police after a shop assistant noticed the cylinders of pressed meat felt unusually heavy as he wrapped them up.

The customer had purchased two large Schwartenmagen sausages earlier that day, later returning to request that they both be wrapped up before a flight to Dubai the following day.

The shop clerk conceded, as anyone would, until he felt a significant weight discrepancy.

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MXPPhoto.com

You met along train tracks. Who needs names?

Sex with a stranger often falls in everyone's top 5 fantasy list, but odds are it holds a particularly significant standing in women's lustful wish list. I'm not talking rape scenarios -- that's got its own special spot in many of our minds -- but simple no-strings-attached fucking with someone you don't know, don't care to find out, and will never see again.

And it goes beyond the turn-on of acting like a slut in secret -- there's more to this imaginary sex scenario than being "dirty" and doing something your parents, pastors and house cats would disapprove of.

Dr. Hernando Chaves, a Beverly Hills psychotherapist and clinical sexologist, told AfterDarkLA that there are more aspects to this fantasy than meet the eye, including sense of danger, empowerment and letting go of control.

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Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Unless you've been sexually deprived or really repressed, everyone's had mind-blowing sex; at least I'd hope so. That being said, there was a recent report that not only is this healthy, but believe it or not, can wipe your mind completely clean.

Don't believe me? Referring to the case of a 54-year-old Washington, D.C.-area woman should convince you otherwise. She was taken into the Georgetown University Hospital last September, complaining that she couldn't remember the previous 24 hours.

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Mike Prasad

A pseudo-young gentleman had been captivated by my brain, beauty and (probably) ass for more than a year before we found ourselves in a hotel room with an older gay man who'd been enthralled by the gentleman for half a decade.

I made them both come -- hard -- without laying a finger on their bodies. Steady eye contact and a strong presence (two of my specialties) were enough to send them into separate realms of ecstasy, both very aware of the male presence laying next to one another. And honestly that realization likely helped them along.

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