photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Camel crossing?

Let's face it; women do things for the benefit of other women, not for men. If the latter were true we'd be slinging our cameltoes around town like this season's hottest designer handbag.

Here's a fact: Guys like gazing at the outline of our labia, ladies. (Go figure!)

But instead of celebrating our crotch curves, many of us have been going out of our way to camouflage them without success -- until now.

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By Wetfinder (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons

No false advertising, here.

The female cameltoe has become a much scrutinized and talked about cultural icon, popular among the exercise set, Wal-Mart shoppers and Coco, wife of Law and Order: SVU star, Ice-T.

My connection? I can remember vividly as a teenager, my mother cutting my too-tight jeans off my skinny frame and screaming at me, "Your crotch lips are showing!" in front of my horrified cousin and friends.

It took us half an hour to squeeze me into my Jordache's, and only seconds for that nut to free me from them with a set of fabric scissors. I lost my favorite pair of pants, and my pride that night, but I learned a valuable lesson in return... cameltoe is a no-no.

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By Mona (Women's line Uploaded by The Egyptian Liberal) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

More fun without a pulse?

The age-old practice of banging your dead wife may be resurrected in Egypt, if members of the newly elected Islamist-dominated parliament have their say.

Or, so the Internet story goes.

Shocking reports circulated last week in Egyptian and Arab media outlets about a proposed "Farewell Intercourse" draft law, which allegedly stated that a husband would be able to legally fuck his partner's decomposing body for up to six hours following her death.

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John Kasawa / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Play with these.

Ladies, if men's balls baffle you, you're not alone. I have no idea what to do with them, and I'm considered an expert in sex. They are so complex and mysterious to me, probably in the same way a female's breasts are to the men reading; no two sets respond, feel or look the same.

The male scrotum comes in so many different shapes and sizes -- even on the same guy! Each duo has its own sensitivity preference and pain threshold, so the trick for us chicks is to learn how to handle them without hurting them.

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The happiest place on earth.

Residents of Fucking aren't fucking around these days, and they don't want you to, either. After years of global ridicule, prank calls and regional vandalism, locals are refusing to take the joke lying down.

The small Austrian village has been Fucking for 800 years, but all that may soon change. Natives, known as 'Fuckingers,' will be casting a vote this week on whether or not to alter their Fucking name.

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luigi diamanti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Open wide!

I love eating out assholes.

Literally, I'm referring to the man's most precious posterior pucker, and not figuratively to his piss-poor personality trait.

For those of you who get an instant hard-on at the thought of me sucking on your starfish, I should note that I'm not into licking just any person's anus. It's got to be attached to a guy I like, who has recently showered and smells like there's a bar of Irish Spring soap up his ass.

The act of analingus, commonly referred to as 'rimming,' or 'tossing the salad,' involves contact between the mouth, lips or tongue of one person, and the anus or perineum (space between the ass and genitals) of another. It is practiced privately by all sexual orientations and genders, but some still consider it to be taboo, dirty or even homoerotic, so it's rarely discussed openly or admitted to in public.

That is, until now.

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photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Online survey says....

Women, the wait is over. All of your burning relationship questions have finally been answered. Wanna know what your man is secretly thinking without you having to ask? Shocking facts emerge from the bedroom in an exclusive nationwide sex survey conducted in April's Esquire Magazine.

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David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tell him how you really feel.

Living with the opposite sex isn't easy. Both genders possess domestic idiosyncrasies that drive our mates wild, and not in a good way. Whether you forget to put the dishes in the dishwasher, leave food out on the counter, squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end, or leave the seat up after you've peed -- we all do things around the house that piss off our partners.

So imagine the impression we leave while in the dating phase.

Guys: One wrong move and a turn-on can become a get-out, with that in mind I've put together a simple check-list to assure you avoid crossing any bathroom boundaries before you get a chance in the bedroom.

This is toilet etiquette that you dudes should always adhere to -- but specifically when visiting a chick's commode.

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Flickr/chadawg24

She's totally thinking about the thing you guys did in the shower that one time

Valentine's Day isn't all about romance and hot sex; it's also about the skillful fantasizing of romance and hot sex. Many of us don't have a special someone (or main ho) with whom to spend/fuck this Hallmark holiday, which means Feb. 14 becomes a day for full-on, hardcore self-love.

And with that in mind, here are five "been there, done that" masturbation fantasies to pull from while you spend the most romantic day of the year with the one you love the most.

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krishnan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are you sperm or egg, yin or yang?

I believe all humans fall into one of two categories: You're either a "sperm" person, or you're an "egg" person. It's the classic Yin/Yang principal, but put in sexier terms.

For those of you needing a refresher in Eastern philosophy: "Yin/Yang is a dualistic philosophy of passive and active, good and bad, light and dark, positive and negative, male and female, etc., and that they are in opposition, each is part of the whole and works together."

My friend Dr. Pat Allen is a psychotherapist, motivation specialist, TV and radio personality, relationship expert, best-selling author, and even has a PhD. She has a proven relationship theory that stems from Freud and Jungian psychology and revolves around the concept of yin/yang, the Chinese version of quantum physics.

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