Flickr Creative Commons

I think if you ask someone during sex "Do you think you're going to come?" you should expect "Not now I'm not" to be the answer. Or another response might be, "Oh, I'm sorry; is this BORING YOU? Do you have someplace you need to be?" Because the question implies that you'd like whatever is transpiring to be over soon.

But a friend of mine had a more charitable take on it, saying, "I've said that to guys I'm blowing. That shit gets tedious." And she's right, it can get tedious. But personally, I consider asking for orgasm ETAs something you shouldn't actually say out loud. Whether such inquiries would anger or annoy you might depend on how sensitive you are, but there are other things said in the sack that aren't so open to debate in terms of appropriateness. And in terms of super-creepiness. I probed colleagues about the worst, most bonerkilling things they'd ever heard in bed. Here are some of our favorites from an informal poll:

More >>

Image: Graeme Weatherston / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Take her away, officer.

Police have to deal with a lot in their line of work and we certainly don't envy them. They get shot at, harassed and screamed at for relatively low pay. But a new indignity has joined the list of things that the boys in blue have to watch out for: dildos.

Officer Jonathan Pitts responded to a domestic dispute, eventually having to escort 47-year-old Lisa Anderson out of her friend's apartment. Anderson fought back, picking up a foot-long pink dildo and hurling it at the police officer's head. Ms. Anderson was then arrested.

More >>

Flickr: Sundve

Everyone has nightmarish tales of particularly bad customer service. The problem for customer service offenders is that now the Internet allows such tales to become viral. People of color getting receipts with racial slurs on them has become so common that it's old hat. This week's trending customer service catastrophe? Let's set the scene...

Mom comes to pick you up after a hard game of volleyball or whatever it is you played during high school. Because it's a special day of the week, she decides that you aren't going straight home. You're going to get some food. You stop off to eat at the local Burger King, when mom notices something strange in her burger; namely, a cock.

More >>

sscreations / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do not pass Go, Psycho. Do not collect 200 dollars.

Attention guys: Don't piss off a chick, or you may end up losing your dick.

On Monday, now-infamous English penis biter Sinead Walker, 40, chomped off more than she could chew when she was found guilty by a British court on two counts of common assault, after mauling her lover's manhood with her mouth, leaving it and him permanently scarred.

The victim, Vincent Rennoldson, a 42-year-old former shop fitter and father of three, complained to reporters after the verdict: "It was horrific -- she came around to say sorry and ended up trying to bite my penis off. There was a lot of blood and it was painful for weeks afterwards. I now have a three-inch scar."

More >>

imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

"Wow, what's that?" (probably Optimus Prime)

Orgasms, getting head, or laid -- there's a myriad interesting/funny stories surrounding the topic of first-time sex and though it's often terrifying, embarrassing or excruciating at the time, there's nothing more entertaining than recounting the memories later in life.

So let's take it back to the very beginning...with the boys. Way back before they knew what sex really was or how it felt.

The following is a little log of five men recalling their first woodies -- the primal first step to feeling and comprehending their sexual desires.

More >>

Sometimes not being able to get it up is a tragedy not so easily solved with blue pills or Spanish fly. Occasionally, heavy machinery is required.

Coloplast, a Danish manufacturer of medical devices, is being sued by Eric Banks, a Pennsylvania man who claims that his surgically-implanted Coloplast penis pump repeatedly failed to deflate.

More >>

Danielle Bacher

By age 22, music author/journalist Ethlie Ann Vare had slept with no less than 75 men, and she had already stopped counting. It was not the sex that meant anything to her; it was the feelings of love and desire, and of being loved and desired in return.

In the early-1980s, Vare was a writer at Billboard magazine working under rock editor Roman Kozak. She attended virtually every concert in town and met countless famous musicians.

She felt like the rock stars she covered and partied with would not be able to fill that void.

"It took me a really long time to understand that just because a man wants you doesn't mean he loves you," she admits. "As I learned over the years, men will fuck sheep. It really isn't an emotional connection for them, especially rock stars, but it was for me."

More >>

Mike Prasad

A pseudo-young gentleman had been captivated by my brain, beauty and (probably) ass for more than a year before we found ourselves in a hotel room with an older gay man who'd been enthralled by the gentleman for half a decade.

I made them both come -- hard -- without laying a finger on their bodies. Steady eye contact and a strong presence (two of my specialties) were enough to send them into separate realms of ecstasy, both very aware of the male presence laying next to one another. And honestly that realization likely helped them along.

More >>

Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Admired by the shy and disapproved of by the uncomfortable, posing nude is an experience I recently accepted and embraced with an initial goal of learning about the artistic process that later grew into a significant challenge of my sense of self and concept of beauty.

Women are taught to conceal our skin from prying and/or admiring eyes and keep our private parts...well...private. And, of course, that's perfectly logical -- we all have fluctuating levels of comfort when it comes to our bodies.

However, it's important to examine the root of that sentiment to assure our weariness is derived from our own judgment and not that of others around us.

More >>

Medical texts describe human males as having an X and a Y sex chromosome. Females have two Xs. Hanne Blank's partner has two Xs and a Y. Discovering that her partner had Klinefelter's Syndrome while visiting a fertility specialist, Blank gained a new perspective about her own sexuality and her love for a "man" who has at various times passed for a feminine gay man, a butch lesbian and a female-to-male transsexual.

In her new book, Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality, Blank explores the reasons behind the creation of the term "heterosexual," and how this word has changed our relationships and our world.

Your book seems to suggest that the naming of heterosexuality and homosexuality in 1868 was a negative thing, as it limited people to specific sexual identities. Given a choice, do you think people who identify as non-heterosexuals have more freedom to embrace their sexual identities today or before 1868?

The notion of a "sexual identity" is also a new thing, even newer than the words "homosexuality" and "heterosexuality." The idea that "homosexual" and "heterosexual" represent two possible options of some larger category of "sexual identity" is a twentieth-century conceit.

More >>