After "the otherroom," half the Style Council headed across the street to the gay bar called Roosterfish. Once again I had to wait for the white-haired bartender who takes a year and day to serve you a drink if you happen to have a god-made vagina. Finally after almost 20 minutes of watching him chat with a young cowbody, I ordered a Linda, a cocktail I created, malibu-rum with soda and, this is important, two cherries. For some reason the bartender's eyes light up when I order. I can only guess his mother's name is Linda or something. It seems every 40-something gay man's mom was named Linda. We entertain ourselves while a parade of extremely tall drag queens march around us, including another J.T. Leroy mistaken identity case. Eventually the Lindas caught up with me and I headed for the ladies room. I paused and asked some fellas sitting next to me where it was. "To the right and it's a 'REAL ladies' room!" they said with a little too much enthusiasm. I head over only to find that every five minutes some dude saunters in, I play guard, stopping them and letting them know, "this is a REAL ladies room." Until Rose walked in. How could I deny Miss Rose Acea? "Well," she pauses, "actually I'm Rosa Parkinson. I was Rose Acea but my boyfriend got mad because he HAS rosaeca," she says.
Suddenly the chick in the stall catches Rose's eye. "Oh there's a real girl in there!" she says. The real girl has been sitting on the can with the door ajar for 15 minutes, before finally, and this is a brave move, I peek around the door, to discover she's sitting on the toilet fully clothed!! "Are you ok?" I ask.
"Go get the Asian guy with the white wig," she moans. I know exactly who she means, and bring him in right away. The girl sitting on the toilet is about to confess her sins to the porcelain priest, and the sight of it makes me lose all hope of pissing any time soon. But before I go, I notice the Not J.T. Leroy is drinking a Linda! I think I just might have something here...
Posted by Linda Immediato