Normally I don't like listening to the radio when I am working. It is, frankly, a distraction. But oh what sweet distractions were to be had on last night's edition of internet radio show GTFU (stands for Get The Fuck Up). The show featured Giant Drag singer Annie, (see the story on her in this week's Weekly), and ne'er was there a battier soul – Annie spent much of the show singing about farts and vaginas and then inadvertently causing host Aaron Farley to get in a full-blown on-air bitch fight with 'bondage pin-up fetish glamour model' and space cadet Dana Dearmond.
I tuned in just as Farley (pictured) and his co-host Jeremy Weiss were checking out Dana's website, because Annie had said how much she loves looking at Dana's butt. On the site you can indeed see Dana's butt and all kinds of other shaved fleshy pierced 'n tattooed delights. Aaron then made the mistake of saying that he'd been told Dana was a bit crazy. Bad move Aaron, bad move. Suddenly Dana's on the line, and she's super weird.
"Who is this?" she asks.
"Oh. Who are you?"
She then insists that she's not crazy. "I'm not crazy, I drink coffee," she deadpans. Aaron, an amiable kind of chap, tries to cajole Dana into playing along with the joke. "So even though you like posting pictures of your asshole on the internet, the fact that you drink coffee means you're not crazy?" he asks. This makes her even madder, which in turn makes her come across even more deranged. For a second I wonder if, like Hamlet, Dana is aware that she's a bit bonkers. After a few minutes listening to her, I think not. It doesn't really matter either way - this is the funniest radio I've heard since Jonesy had that guy from Saturday Night Live on.
After a while Dana gets all huffy and says she doesn't want to talk to Aaron anymore, so they put Annie on the line and the two girls start talking about pregnancy. "Babies are gross," says Annie. "They shit inside you." Dana then starts plugging her new porno movie which comes out in the New Year - "I get fucked in the ass and then I give this guy a BJ and he cums all over my face" - at which point Aaron and Jeremy wisely pull the plug and start talking about religion and Marxism instead.
But it's not over yet…half an hour later Dana shows up at the studio, acting weirder than ever. She insists that she knows Aaron ("I've never met you I my life," he swears) and gives him more shit about calling her crazy. (What was it they said about the lady protesting too much?) Anyway, by this point the poor radio host has had enough. "You know what – FUCK HER," Aaron tells his audience, receiving a round of applause. From me at least.
The whole exchange gets me thinking – Dana Dearmond doesn't conform to the porn star stereotype - she's brunette, her boobs are real and she's Silverlake hot…but she has more in common with her bleached-blond silicone buddies in the Valley than she may realize. The vacuousness, the tenuous grasp on reality, and the stone cold detachment so often found among strippers and porn stars. Some, like Dana, are more detached from the universe than most…and what a treat to be able to experience it in its full demented glory, live and uncensored, thanks to the (relatively) unregulated beauty of internet radio.
And guess what – GTFU is due to have their buddies from Dirty Pretty Things (ex-The Libertines) on the show next Monday. Hooray! They're good at getting high profile guests without even trying – not so long ago Franz Ferdinand dropped by. "We didn't have a clue who they were," said Jeremy. "We just thought they had funny accents."