Going Once, Twice... Frakkin' SOLD!: L.A. Weekly's Battlestar Galactica Prop Awards, Auction This Weekend in Pasadena
It's been well over a month since the reimagined Battlestar Galactica drew to its epic close, and for those of us who were along for the entire ride, most still aren't quite over it. Whether they're still fretting over whatever plot twist deviated from their expectations, or simply reeling from the enormity of it all the BSG faithful seem more or less still in deep withdrawal. (For the record: Had a few quibbles with the finale including that uncharacteristically heavy-handed last five minutes, but overall? Loved it. Sobbed like a baby.) So, gods love the gang at Propworx for allowing the faithful's L.A. contingent to bask in ephemera of all things Galactica at a three-day auction starting Friday, with the items up on display at the Pasadena Convention Center.
Here are our awards for the best amongst the cornucopia of geek candy up for grabs. (Note: thar be SPOILERS below, so if you're not done watching the series then you really need to go away now. Shoo.)
Coolest Ride in the Galaxy: There are actually a few full-scale ships on the auction block this weekend, including the Viper Mark II that harkens back to the design of the original series' flying machines. Yet for our money (of which we don't have enough to even think of bidding - frak!), there's no more bitchin' vehicle than The Blackbird, the stealth ship built by Chief Tyrol and the crew for sneaky spy shenanigans behind enemy lines. (Christened "Laura" after President Roslin. Don't say you didn't cry.) Gaze at that carbon-composite beauty, and pretend Apollo never crashed her during that attack on the Cylon resurrection ship.
Most Valuable for Sci-Fi Loving S&M Enthusiasts: Hey, there's got to be a few of them out there, right? Probably more than anyone knows, and it's tough to find just the right gift for a BSG fan with a taste for bondage. Have no fear, the shackles, neck restraint and pole used on the lovely Sharon - back when everyone kept thinking of the other Sharon who shot the old man, even though this one was was pregnant by Helo, found the Tomb of Athena and did them a bunch of solids during times of crisis. Give a girl a break! - is right here. Try finding these at your local leather shop.
Must Haves for the BSG Boozer: Though the deck crew once tried making moonshine in their store room, there always seemed to be a plethora of alcohol left in the fleet after the Cylon attack. Even when they've resorted to eating nasty algae because the food's run out, there's still plenty of hooch to go around! (The increasingly despondent Admiral Adama pretty much spent the entire final season rat-assed.) For the right price, you can celebrate the BSG gang's love of a good tipple with the awesome Top Gun stein prized by Galactica's pilots, and these empty Ambrosia bottles. (Which you could totally fill with vodka dyed green. Don't let us give you any ideas or anything.)
Wildest Addition for Your Bathroom Renovation: Sure, some of the initial mystery of what made the Cylons tick was lost as the series began to dig a little deeper into life on a baseship. That isn't to say it wasn't completely engrossing, deliciously complex and not just a little bit cuckoo-bananas, particularly their manner of resurrecting after death into a hot goo-bath. It's just not a (re)birth if there's no muck, right? If you've got the space, now you can own your own Cylon Resurrection Tub; fill it with warm KY Jelly for authenticity if you like, but if it were ours, we'd install a whirlpool massage system. And maybe a mini-plasma TV.
Best Accessories for Practicing Your Steely Glare: Always at the apex of the political intrigue, not to mention the emotional core, of BSG was the rapport and eventual romance between Admiral Adama and President Roslin. Military vs. civilian ethos, pragmatic realism versus religious faith, their rocky relationship encapsulated the best and worst of times while exchanging knowing glances and the occasional hard-assed stare-down. On the block this weekend are both Laura's sexy-schoolteacher specs and Bill's classy, wire-rimmed numbers, perfect for when you and your loved one want to get all up in each other's faces and then kiss and make up. Or at least come to a trickily-negotiated compromise.
Must Haves for the Perpetual 'Shipper: Look, it's like this: Starbuck and Apollo were never going to end up together, people. We dig the hot Sackhoff/Bamber chemistry as much as anyone, but they were the epitome of star-crossed lovers, burning torridly in the wake of their angst like Wuthering Heights in space. (He's Cathy and she's Heathcliff, clearly.) Still, for those who remain all torn up over the lack of a stroll into the sunset together, you can get Kara's Caprica Buccaneers jacket and Lee's Viper squadron bomber jacket, put one inside the other and hang them in your closet, Brokeback Mountain-style. Awww.
Only to be Worn While Saying "Frak You - Yarr!": As if everyone's favorite irascible XO Colonel Tigh couldn't get any crustier, his stint as a prisoner during the occupation on New Caprica left him missing a peeper following an especially nasty torture session. Now you can nab the eye patch (TighPatch? Ha!) he wore for the remainder of the series, giving him just the right amount of salty sea-captain mojo to really let fly. Well, that and finding out he was one of the final five Cylons. That's enough to make anyone a little cranky.
Least Likely to be Bought by a Size 2 Blonde: Dozens and dozens of costumes will be sold off during this weekend's event, but far and away the most coveted will likely be Number Six's red dress, the slinky number worn by that most bodacious of Cylon babes in her seductive incarnation that only Gaius Baltar can see in his head. It's probably the single most iconic item in this auction - remember the focal point of that brilliant "Last Supper" poster for Season 4? - and likely to sell for a ton of cubits. We just... well, we kinda don't want to know what the winning bidder's gonna do with it once they get it.
For more information on the official Battlestar Galactica Props Live Auction II taking place May 8-10, including a downloadable PDF of the entire catalog of items, info on today's Preview Day with cast and crew events and how to bid online, visit www.battlestarprops.com.