Wookiee Brains: Deconstructing the Star Wars Breakfast Cereals

For those of you who haven't been following the Star Wars collecting beat, just FYI, wookiee brains now come in cereal form.

​
According to StarWars.com, 16 types of Star Wars-themed cereal boxes (400 of each) will be given away at this August's "Celebration V" at the Orange County Convention Center here in Southern California in Florida. You'll have to go to the panels on collecting to get one.

More images (and what each cereal might taste like) after the jump. What, no Ewok Nuts?

1. Count Dookula -- These probably taste like chocolate (as the name suggests) with a hint of blood. Dooku was an evil Jedi master who killed lots of good Jedi masters. That's basically all I know. I tried to read the entire Wookieepedia entry on him, but my eyes glazed over.

​

2. Grape Hutts -- Ordinarily, Grape Nuts are healthy and taste like cardboard. The Jabba the Hutt version, however, probably tastes salty, oily and/or buttery, perhaps even a bit like bacon. Jabba, I'm certain, would not want to affix his likeness to any product that didn't make you want to compulsively eat more and more and more of it.

​

3. Hothsted Flakes -- Minty, I'm guessing. And overly sweet.

​

4. Troop Loops -- These probably taste exactly like regular old human Fruit Loops. In fact, they probably ARE regular old human Fruit Loops, but repackaged in Storm Trooper boxes. Just as Storm Troopers are regular old humans repackaged in tacky, white plastic armor.

​

5. Fetties -- What do bounty hunters have for breakfast? Bounty hunters may have a tendency to skip breakfast since they're busy Type A individuals with a lot going on in their lives and a need to stay on the move as they follow their prey. The smartest bounty hunters, however, realize that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Of all these cereals, Fetties is probably the most nutritious. Therefore, it must taste the worst. Boba Fett wouldn't mind. He's used to hardship.

​

6. Admiral Ackbar -- Fishy. Less like salmon, and more like squid. Probably turns into a kind of seafood chowder when you pour milk into it. This one would likely taste better hot rather than cold.

​