Kardashian Kollection Launch: 9 Bitchy Remarks Overheard in the Red Carpet Reporters Pit

Gendy Alimurung

Kim Kardashian at the launch of her new Sears fashion line, Kardashian Kollection

​Often, the best (i.e. worst) stuff you hear at red carpet events comes not from the red carpet but from that angry, roiling, elbow-jabbing, toe-smashing little slice of hell known as the reporters' pit.

Take the recent launch of the Kardashian Kollection at the Hamptons-themed The Colony nightclub in Hollywood. For those of you with better things to do than keep track of the manifold projects of reality TV stars, the Kardashian Kollection is sisters Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall, Kylie and mother Kris Kardashian's new "exclusive to Sears" fashion line.

Here is a small sampling of what you'd overhear. Welcome to the other side of the velvet rope.

Kris Kardashian: mother, svengali, entrepreneur

​9. "Hi Kris! So good to see you! When are you coming out with a Kardashian tampon?"
--magazine reporter to herself, pretending to interview Kris Kardashian

Khloe "Stop Calling Me Fat" Kardashian

​8. "Jesus. When is she gonna come down here? She just keeps talking and talking. It's not like this is a red carpet for Madonna. Or Lady Gaga, or someone who actually matters."
--reporter, anxiously waiting her turn to interview Kris Kardashian

Kris' legs. Assume the position.

​
​7. "What the fuck am I doing here?"
--news magazine reporter, to no one in particular

Et tu, CNN?

​
​6. "Who are these two? What are their names?"
--reporter

"I don't know. Does it matter?"
--other reporter

(These are actually the two youngest Kardashians: Kylie Jenner in the black dress, and Kendall Jenner in the white dress.)