Harlan Ellison, Lunatic Genius, Rambles About Lusting After Sally Field, Wields a Knife, Accosts 'Assholes' at Cinefamily

This man is part of my intellectual DNA. He sacrificed "serious literary acclaim" for a steady check and a life which is rich in detail (Philip Roth was Amish in comparison) but he gave us some masterpieces (eg "Deathbird Stories") nevertheless. Battle on, Mr. E!

I see that  huge orange tie and all I can think is "Slippage" down a corduroy road, walking off with a Hugo.  Hello Steve. I'm Neon and I'm Strange Wine.

Angela Garcia as NeonMosfet

Lest there be even more misreading into my words the reply below is to the cult member's reply to my reply to his elitist reply to my take on the festival of cult of personality. Amen.

I just am compelled to post this here. I attended the shindig and it was great. I however also posted on his fanboys forum the following rant of my own and what followed was a shower of anal attacks, schoolmarm grammar corrections, righteous indignation and censorship under the guise of not following the rules. So anti-Harlan, so delightfully funny. Now its your turn to censor this as is your right, this not being a free speech venue. They don't exist anymore kiddies. You live in a most repressive police state now. Welcome to the brave new world.-----------------------" I've forgotten your name" Luken <youlookfamiliar@lukenlimos.com>I really have grown tired of los angeles, benign resignation, CCCPHere I sit all alone with a broken heart,Took 3 bennies and my semi truck won't start. Okay so I'm the guy that gets a personal phone invitation from the man himself. Pretty cool I'm thinking. So I go to this dinner right? Mexican restaurant, super expensive, eaten there once before and never went back. 20 bucks for a couple of tacos I could get at 1000 other mexican restaurants and still have money for parking, a bottle of mad dog and some crack. I walk into the room and am confronted with what looks like a bunch of arrested development comic book geeks, no ellison and too few chairs. Not one hot babe sitting by herself. This is gonna be fun I'm thinking. I asked the staff about this giant room in the back with plenty of tables and chairs and am told that's where I should go and sit... alone. I mentioned it two or three times but nobody seems to be paying attention so fuck it I think. Then a young woman sitting by herself in a booth just outside the ellison room asks me to sit down. Things are looking up I'm thinking. By the end of the night she's telling me she has issues, is broke and may be homeless soon and won't even give me a phone number after chatting over dinner. Wonderful, rejected by a girl who could turn 1 foot completely backward. I just about shit when she did it for me. Flexible. But I will never get a chance to see it done in the sack. So anyway I'm standing there and in comes harlan, folks fawning over him already. As he passes he glances at me and I say the line he wrote for me. " I'm a friend of harlan's, let me in!" Clever I thought he might appreciate it. He looks at me and says sarcastically "You look familiar.", and walks the fuck away! Jesus I'm thinking am I at some kind of comic con bullshit? Am I one of those geeks wearing a t shirt with his face on it he blows off? Fuck it I'm thinking, they said there was going to be one check for everyone so I'm assuming someone is picking up the check and the dutch treat thing was a goof. Great I'll just eat and have a couple of cocktails then blow this popsicle stand. So there I am sitting at the children's table like its thanksgiving trying to carry on a conversation with a girl who obviously isn't interested because she has issues and some dude who doesn't say 2 words and has a camera that is huge but doesn't take a single picture. Yow are we having fun yet? Eventually somebody comes out and invites me into the room but apparently just to show me off like their new pet, The limousine driver. I correct them and say limousine company owner thank you very much. Unexpectedly Harlan starts telling my rob schneider anecdote. Now in truth rob schneider was a half decent guy to me. It was just a fucked up situation where he invited me to his premier and they wouldn't let me in. Harlan launched into this crazy tirade about rob schneider. Schneider's dog most have shit in his yard or something. Then I committed a henious act. I said "you're telling it wrong!" You could almost hear the assholes puckering up around the room. It was a bit like pointing out the emperor had no clothes. Harlan took no notice and continued with the tale more or less correctly. Before he could finish in walks his agent of about 50 years. It was as if I had never existed and all record of me had been swept from the room. I was forgotten and forsaken. Again call me winston smith. A couple of people asked me to finish the thing but it was patheticaly anticlimactic. But I must tell you harlan seems to have a hard on for rob schneider. So it goes. Afterwards they're taking up a collection for the dinner so my thoughts of getting a free meal went out the window too. Dude says it was 500 dollars, that's 37 bucks each. I had offered to buy at the children's table I was stuck at but the camera dude had already paid and left and the girl didn't really order or eat. She had some of the guy's beef mole` and insisted on giving me 5 bucks towards the tab so I handed a couple twenties to the dude. Then the cry went up they were 100 dollar short! Hilarious I thought. A couple had scooted out early mumbling something about paying the parking meter. Probably spent the money on comic books instead. I for 1 would not want to face the wrath of that diminuative scribe so I paid. Kids if you've never been to los angeles you have to go to any restaurant and watch jews pay the bill. It's like dinner and a show. Who had the chopped liver? Are you paying with a credit card? Moshe ordered an egg cream and never got it! Good luck getting the tip Jose... All in all it was a hoot. So anyway I get to the theater and there are 2 lines. First line I asked say they're on standby Like it's a fucking rock concert. Other line tells me they're will call. Hey I'm of the special people, My name is supposed to be on the list! Who walks by me again but harlan himself and starts chatting up the will call line. I pass on using the joke again of I am a friend of harlan let me in because it crashed and burned the first time. So I tell the ticket person to fake like he's not gonna let me in and we can goof on harlan that way. Ticket guy don't get it so I let it go. He hands me a couple of receipts instead of fancy tickets. I think fuck it and hold it up like a scalper.d Dude in the standby line jumps all over the ticket and gives me 10 bucks. If I'm one of the special people on the list what did I need with a fucking ticket? Hell I could have scalped them both, cleared 20 bucks and had the mexican meal and a couple margaritas for half the cost! So I go inside, they talk about a bunch of stuff, show some badly organized vids and still images, yell at each other a lot and harlan goes off on some lady. I think that's part of the script. All in all it was almost as entertaining as ed mcmahon's thing where he showed old tonight show clips. Drove the dude there and back, didn't say 2 words to me and smelled of piss. Ed was about 900 years old so I'll give him that. My close personal friend harlan wouldn't let me drive him tonight so I don't know if he smelled of soiled Depends. Come to think of it I never even got to shake the guy's hand. Oh well with a couple hundred fanboy geeks glomming onto him I guess I can't expect a hug and a kiss like some others. Still he is my hero not so much for his writing but for his stance on things. Cops, spiro agnew, being brutally honest and a bit of a prick. Sounds like me except I'm better looking.Your humble servant, Howard</youlookfamiliar@lukenlimos.com>