9 Best High-Tech Vibrators to Buy for Your Valentine, Reviewed by our Experts
See more from L.A. Weekly's Sex Issue: "Condoms Suck," "The Swingers' Story: How Two Married People Found True Love While Swapping Partners," "10 Condom Reviews for the Well-Endowed Man," "Twelve Tales of Sexual Mortification," and "UCLA vs. USC Sex Survey 2012: Who's Sluttier?"
As told to L.J. Williamson
A heart-shaped box of chocolates? Sentimental and short-lived -- not to mention fattening. But girls like having nice things, and boys like having girls who have nice things. So why not get your honey a high-tech vibrator?
The Weekly asked a married couple to test-drive some of the latest models. Here's what the missus reported back.
9. We-Vibe 3
Looks like: Like a purple letter U.
High-tech features: Unique and innovative design, made for use by couples during intercourse.
Likes: Small and elegant with a sleek battery charger. Actually stays in the right place all by itself. Brilliant design, a true innovation.
Dislikes: Rubbery coating is like Velcro for dust.
The experience: Our tester's first question upon seeing the We-Vibe 3: "Is this even going to work?" Answer: Yes. Yes. Yes! Oh God, YES! Second question: "How is this going to feel for my partner?" Her answer, after about a minute: Who cares? Just please, please, please don't make it stop.
8. We-Vibe Touch
Looks like: A pointy red tongue
High-tech features: Strong vibration with a rechargeable battery
Likes: Impressively powerful for its size. Tiny and discreet charging base. Waterproof!
Dislikes: Same as above. Partner complained about pointy shape when used in tandem, but no complaints solo.
The experience: Anyone who came up in the days of C cell-powered vibrators will be impressed with the substantial, serious shimmy the compact We-Vibe line delivers. If only cellphones could shake this sensually.
7. We-Vibe Salsa/We-Vibe Tango
Looks like: An OB tampon/a tube of lipstick
High-tech features: Super-strong vibration in a tiny package
Likes: Same as above
Dislikes: None. What's not to like?
The experience: This duo of vibrators differs only in color and shape, with a rounded tip on the Salsa and a slanted one on the Tango. They're each about the size of an index finger -- but if you could do that with your index finger, you wouldn't need a vibrator. Sleek, tiny and almost as powerful as something that plugs into the wall, these sweet little bullet vibes are the perfect size to slip into your pocket, your purse, your strap-on or his ass.