9 Best High-Tech Vibrators to Buy for Your Valentine, Reviewed by our Experts
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Looks like: The joystick controller of a jaunty blue spaceship
High-tech features: Plugs into your iPod to help you rock out without a cock out.
Likes: Pleasing, if-Steve-Jobs-made-dildos design. Plastic has inviting, velvety texture.
Dislikes: You have to be looking at the controls to figure them out. Think about that for a minute.
The experience: The sensible, letter-J-with-a-handle shape of this vibe basically hit the right spots, but the vibration strength seemed backwards: stronger inside, weaker outside. The main fun here was teaming the Freestyle with her iPod and developing a whole new relationship with favorite tunes. But while the Freestyle's controls are meant to be reminiscent of an iPod, they aren't as intuitive, which can cause frustration at agonizingly crucial moments.
2. Minna Ola
Looks like: Something you'd use to style your hair
High-tech features: This programmable vibrator can memorize patterns such as long-short-long.
Likes: Sophisticated hot-pink design that doesn't look gauche on the nightstand. Comes with a satin case. Pleasantly firm yet squishy in your hand.
Dislikes: Pricey. Do you really need your wanking to be this specialized?
The experience: Slender and nonthreatening, this lady shaver-looking toy might make a good first vibrator for a young woman -- provided that young woman had $165 of disposable income to blow on a vibrator. The Ola's gimmick -- that it's fully programmable and can memorize patterns of varying rhythm and intensity (You can even make it play "Shave and a Haircut"!) -- felt high-tech and fun.
1. nJoy Pure Wand
Looks like: A lethal weapon
High-tech features: CAD-designed and covered in gleaming chrome, just like everything in the future.
Likes: She'll take this seriously.
Dislikes: Cold, hard and heavy. Menacing, even.
The experience: The missus reports that there are two good reasons to keep this all-steel dildo by your bedside: auto-eroticism and self-defense. Sleek, space-age and very serious, the curved barbell has two business ends -- the smaller is a key to the back door, the larger opens the front, and the whole thing could be used to club an intruder to death. Rumor has it that Colonel Mustard might even have used one of these on Miss Scarlet in the conservatory.
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