7 Bizarro Life Lessons From Kevin Smith's Latest Book, Tough Sht*

By Siran Babayan Tue., Mar. 27 2012 at 9:00 AM

Categories: Books, Comedy, Film

Continued from page 1

3. Pot keeps you positive.
Smith didn't start smoking weed regularly until he was 38, after finishing Zack and Miri Make a Porno with Seth Rogen, who he calls his "ganja guru." Smith: "Here's the secret. It doesn't give you cool ideas. It's not a magic bullet. It's good for inhibiting the negative bullshit that keeps you from pursuing really good ideas. It will take the negativity out of the equation. And that's really the only thing an artist has to worry about. You know what weed allowed me to do, if I could crystallize it for you? It allowed me to fulfill my lifelong goal of being Bryan Johnson [fellow podcaster and inspiration for the character of Randal in Clerks]. I always wanted to be Bryan Johnson. Weed has gotten me to a place where I can say, 'Well, that's your opinion.'"

2. Don't let an airline tell you you're too fat to fly.
You can be a slob like Smith and still shed those pounds. Smith: "My friend Malcolm comes over one day and asks me, 'Have you ever had one of those Weight Watchers hamburgers? They're pretty amazing. Three for a dollar!' Also, Smart Ones. That's the brand I lean toward because the box is colorful. It doesn't taste like diet food. It's just small, controlled portions. And then we started walking up this hill near my house. So between Smart Ones and walking a mile a day up a hill (and I'm not saying walk fuckin' Mount Kilimanjaro), the weight just falls off.

1. If all else fails, look to John Hughes.
Smith dedicates an entire chapter to "The Tenets of Buellerism" in his book, drawing lessons from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Here's a few:
"Get along with everyone."
"Look out that window."
"Your parents are clueless, but they love you."
"Always park your own car."
"And take some time for yourself every once in a while. At least nine times a year."

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