Miss Advised: Bravo's Latest Relationship Experts Are Still Single ... But Don't Seem to Care

Miss Advised: Bravo's Latest Relationship Experts Are Still Single ... But Don't Seem to Care

By Ali Trachta Thu., Jul. 26 2012 at 11:27 AM

PHOTO BY FRAZER HARRISON/GETTY IMAGES

Julia Allison, left, Emily Morse and Amy Laurent of Miss Advised

Emily Morse and Amy Laurent, two of the three stars of Bravo reality show Miss Advised, are settling in for lunch at Tart, near the Grove. Julia Allison, the local girl and most famous of the trio, is late. "She's fucking her boyfriend," Laurent quips, and Morse smacks her with a giggle. Suddenly Laurent realizes her dress isn't properly fastened. Asking Morse to zip her up, she ad-libs, "No, I'm the one who was fucking my boyfriend."

She's kidding, of course. None of these women have boyfriends. That's the whole reason they were picked for Miss Advised -- a show that chronicles the misadventures of three relationship experts -- in the first place.

Morse is the host of her own radio show, "Sex With Emily," in San Francisco, Laurent is a matchmaker in New York City, and Allison is a freelance dating columnist based in Marina del Rey. All three are hotshots in the field of sex and relationship advice, but they're also single, and -- the horror! -- over 30, which creates an open door for mockery.

In Bravo's trailer for the show, which carries the tagline "Those who can't do advise," Morse, Laurent and Allison are depicted as tragic love goofs. "Oh my God, I'm a shitty dater," the matchmaker complains. Leaping into the arms of a man who looks semi-repulsed, Allison observes, "I tend to be really aggressive, and I can start to reek of desperation a little."

Morse, the group's wild child, comes off as a misguided fille de joie, making out with "queer polyamorous sluts" while musing about her love of threesomes. In the trailer, they're close to a literal clusterfuck. "Where is he? Where's my husband?" Allison pleads at the end.

"When it comes to falling in love, these experts need to practice what they preach," the video's caption reads -- an attitude it's easy to assume the women share about themselves. With a marketing campaign like that, it would make sense if their perpetual manlessness makes them feel like fools.

Yet, even before the salads are served, they're diving into whether traditional marriage is a sham.

"You read Sex at Dawn, right?" Allison asks Morse.

"Yes!" Morse gushes, explaining, "It's this amazing book that talks about monogamy, and maybe that it's not a very natural choice."

"It's changing my perspective," Allison says.

Allison was the self-proclaimed Rules girl, known for having a 73-point checklist for her phantom husband. She still has that list, but it's no longer such a credo. "I added some by the end of the show," she says. "I added some and I eliminated some. I went through a metamorphosis through the course of the show and decided some of what was on the list was negotiable.

"I added No. 79: Create a satisfying, experimental, open sex life."

"I like it!" Morse pipes up.

"And there's an exclamation mark," Allison adds.

"Good, honey, that's good!" Morse says, beaming.

"After eight weeks," Laurent interjects. That's her rule for how long one should wait before sleeping with a suitor.

Up next: Who should decide when sex should happen?

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brooklyngirl80

"Despite getting billed as being on a manhunt, these women are not girlishly obsessed with sex and relationships but rather voracious about them. And that voraciousness has made them successful, career-minded women -- women for whom traditional marriage is increasingly less necessary."

Wait, you are kidding, right? Okay, I get it, this is some puff piece to get people on board with the show... I mean, Bravo PR is tweeting about this so we know where the author's bread is buttered. But seriously - "they are not girlishly obsessed with relationships??? Julia practically assaults a guy for a kiss in the second episode, asking for a kiss over a dozen times and resorts to climbing on top of her date for it. In another episode, she ambushes a date for a Prom theme date. Still "not girlishly obsessed"? How about her pink Princess themed room with a Princess Parking sign complete with stuffed animals and 21 tutus.

You do a disservice to all women when you hold these three (okay, fine, I won't count Emily, she seems cool) up as a shining example of successful, career minded woman. I've never heard of Amy... I'll give her a pass on being career driven but she is just as obsessed with plugging a man into her life before believing she is complete in any way. Julia is a guest blogger for Elle.com. SO SUCCESSFUL!!! So successful that I'm sure that "career" will end the second this Bravo show is cancelled. Doubt she can even pay the rent with that gig. Hope I can be that successful!

Did you even watch this show? These three are a complete embarrassment to all women and the polar opposite (as depicted on the show) of successful woman who put careers first and men second. ALL THESE PATHETIC WOMEN DO IS PUT MEN FIRST.

LA Weekly usually does some pretty cutting edge reporting. This is not it.

Ali_Trachta moderator communitymanager

@brooklyngirl80 Wow -- thanks for all this feedback! A couple of things though: 1. Let's be clear, Bravo does not butter my bread, or whatever. I work at LA Weekly, not Bravo. I have no association with Bravo. They can tweet whatever they want. 2. Yes, I've watched the show. Did you read the article? My whole point was that was that the way Bravo portrays them and the way I found them to be in real life were polar opposites. 3. Julia Allison is making her way as a freelance writer. Lemme tell ya, that is VERY difficult to do. I'm not saying she's a millionaire, but if you were a writer you'd likely agree that a column anywhere is a success.

Thanks very much for reading and adding your insights.

-Ali