10 Things to Do in L.A. on Your Last Day on Earth
If it's still early in the day, this is the perfect time to go full-fledged who-gives-a-shit. If you're still wearing anything but shoes and a cape or loincloth, time to ditch 'em. Pants and shirts -- clothes in general -- are for people who are going to exist tomorrow. Modesty is not a virtue one need right now. Fashion yourself a trident. Grab a motorcycle or a wild conveyance of some kind and party. This is a good opportunity to do some other wacky stuff -- climb up the Matterhorn at Disneyland and declare yourself the king or queen of everything, walk on the grass at Pepperdine, take photos of vendors in Venice for free, get one of those Diddy Riese ice-cream sandwiches. Fuck it, get two.
5. Get entertained
If you're doing this right, by now you're already soaked in more booze than Nick Nolte's stubble on payday. What better a way to close out your existence than by laughing your tipsy ass all the way to Armageddon. Since most of the best comedy shows go down earlier in the week, you might want to hit up the UCB or one of the larger venues for your final yuks and chuckles. Joe Rogan's hosting something at the Wiltern and then there's the Boofont Sisters Jingling for Jesus Drag Show, because, why not? There's also a ridiculous metal show.
4. Get together
Laughing in the face of endtimes, maniacally enjoying metalocalypse, it's about time to stop by a few parties. Fortunately, we've already got at fantastic list for you. El Vez's antics may, indeed, remind you that everything is going to be OK. (Even thought it won't be.)
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