​Need a break from all the credit card-maxing, house-lighting, bad party-attending and general seasonal stressing? Why not try something outside of the gift box this year? Here, five festive, somewhat freaky holiday haps in town that are anything but cookie-cutter Christmas confections.

5. Charles Phoenix's Retro Holiday Show
The holidays are really all about nostalgic accoutrements and rituals. And nobody knows nostalgia -- especially in L.A. -- better than Charles Phoenix, a Cali institution known for his enlightening Disneyland tour guides and kitschy slideshow presentations (see image above). Charles Phoenix's Retro Holiday Show is always a hoot. Phoenix "roasts and toasts" mid-century family life and style during the holidays via old photos and oddball commentary that meshes the wit of Awkward Family Photos with a genuine zest for the season that maybe only St. Nick himself could match. Dec. 18, 7:00 p.m. at REDCAT Theater,
631 West 2nd St.
Downtown. www.charlesphoenix.com

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As you know, in fashion, one day you're in and the next day you're out. How then to explain the cheerful ubiquity of Miss Piggy?

Last August, the porcine mop/puppet turned up at Opening Ceremony to promote a muppet-themed apparel line. This month, she graces a spread in InStyle magazine sporting Jason Wu, Suno and Brian Atwood. M.A.C. began pushing its diva pig-themed capsule make-up -- think false eyelashes, black eyeliner and neon pink eyshadow -- around the time Lifetime officially announced her guest spot as a judge on Project Runway: All-Stars in 2012.

With all due respect, and at the risk of finding ourselves on the business end of a karate chop, we find Miss Piggy's heiress-meets-Hollywood look a little staid. Allow us to respectfully submit this list of the top five fashion-forward muppets who deserve equal opportunity to vogue.

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