With the Mayan apocalypse upon us, Rob Kutner, a writer for Conan and the author of the book Apocalypse How: Turn the End-Times into the Best of Times!, offers ten tips for survival come Dec. 21:
10. Chemical Warfare Begins Within
Are you currently thinking of injecting, inhaling or surgically implanting any foreign substances to enhance your bra size, batting average or just horrible workday? DO IT NOW. The more inorganic chemicals churning in your body, the more protection you'll have from whatever is going to get blasted into it.
9. Head for the Sex Shop
As has been well-documented (albeit mostly by the Australians) the most powerful leaders of any post-apocalyptic world will be those clad in leather bondage-gear. Get your Fifty Shades of Grey on today, run Bartertown tomorrow.