Coffee, Cream or Botox?

Fake Botox -- now there's a concept. But that's what Beverly Hills Dr. David Cary Hansen is accused of shooting into his patients'  faces, according to an L.A. grand jury indictment handed down Thursday. It brings to mind Fake Plastic Surgeon  Patricia Villegas, the enterprising Queens, N.Y. quack who earlier this month was sentenced to five years for injecting her clients with silicone goop, which resulted in the women suffering massive infections and the loss of feeling in parts of their faces.

The episodes recall those old 1950s sci-fi films in which the doctor slips an experimental serum into the drinks of unwitting visitors, who soon undergo striking evolutionary transformations to become a Teenage Werewolf or the Manster.

Call it coincidence, but on the same day as Hansen's indictment, another Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon, Toby Mayer, issued a don't-try-this-at-home press release.

"I've seen Botox injections offered at private parties or in hair salons," Mayer is quoted. "You should never mix martinis and makeovers."

Now he tells us!