New York State Senator Finds 99 Percent Of NYC Commuters See Rats On The Subway

New York State Senator Bill Perkins

We wish our senators were this nifty on Photoshop

Vermin reports streaming out of New York City tend to get a little repetitive (with the exception of that one about the snake in a toilet), so we can't take the time to laugh at all of them.

But the anti-rat crusade of freshly re-elected New York State Senator Bill Perkins (D - Harlem) breathes new hilarity into the age-old plight of New Yorkers forced to share their glamorous big-apple lives with the cruddiest of life forms.

Perkins is a sworn enemy of rats. He hates them. Once, at a political debate, when asked if he had a concrete plan for getting rats off the Harlem streets, he swallowed a pregnant female whole.

OK, not that last one. Perkins did go so far as to create a rat-themed survey on his website last June, though -- and the final tally is delightful.

The report, published last Thursday, found that nearly 99 percent of Subway riders encounter a rat at least once a week in the underground system -- and oftentimes once a day. Perkins got emotional about his findings with the New York Times:

"[The subway] is so important to people," he said. "It is an experience that determines significantly one's daily life, not simply from a bread-and-butter go-to-work point of view, but from an emotional and psychic point of view. You're on a subway and a rat is sitting next to you -- that moment does not end for a while."

He's right. We may have our qualms with the L.A. public transportation system, but at least our worst possible bus-bench partner is a crazy bag lady from Venice with gnarly Einstein hair.