UCLA Sex Survey Results: Threesomes, Celebrity Affairs, Masturbation, and How to Prevent Nude Photos of You Turning Up on Facebook
Read more in our sex features, "Sex and This City: What are Angelenos Looking For?," "Give Sodomy a Chance," "iPhilandering: It's Easy to Be Sleazy!," and "Uncomplicated Casual Sex? Not Easy to Find on Craigslist."
But a close look at PornDorm.com, CampusQuim.net, SophomoreWhores.com, Pac10Poontang.com, TwinXXXtraLong.net, OSUBeavers.com and BackDoorBaccalaureates.edu reveals that the sites are rife with inaccuracies and difficult-to-verify accounts. So the Weekly took matters into its own hands, asking 175 UCLA students to fill out a survey.
The answers provide glimpses of nascent sexual imaginations, as well as hard evidence of the firm entrenchment of traditional gender roles. Yet the primary finding is that this first generation to grow up with the Internet -- and therefore easy access to porn -- has scarcely been corrupted by the experience, or at least not as adequately as one might hope.
Students reveal sporadic instances of hotness, but rather than being as thoroughly steeped in the fresh and frisky hijinks of newly minted sexuality as CoedSlutz.com had led us to believe, responses often are more evocative of the modesty and fumbling that accompany many early sexual experiences.
For example, we were surprised by the number who say it is reasonable to expect to encounter a prospective partner who was a virgin, and by the number who feel that virginity was an admirable trait. Students also are a lot more likely to describe their sexual style as rooted in love or passion than in garden-variety horniness, and although this is far from universal, several respondents say it was "never" OK to engage in oral sex.
In short, we learned that the coeds aren't really slutz at all. We also learned that not everything you read on the Internet is true. Go figure.
1. Let's say you got drunk last night. What probably happened next?
Threesomes no, vomiting yes. At least they're honest.
2. Assume you are a virgin, and you've decided to sell your virginity. What, realistically, is the highest bid?
The way respondents priced the majority of the population out of the market, it seems as if they'd be content to remain virgins forever -- and some even said as much, describing their virginity as "priceless."
Not surprisingly, even in 2011, maidenheads command the highest imaginary sum. The boys were cheap sluts by comparison. One male even indicated that he would let his virginity go for 11 cents. A few heterosexual males, however, priced their purity at above $1 billion, probably without stopping to consider the fact that most of the people in the world who could afford such extravagances are also male.
3. Who is the celebrity you most want to have an affair with?
4. Assume you're bisexual. Who would you want to have a same-sex affair with?
5. What do you think is the ideal length of an erect penis?
A girl can dream, can't she?
6. What phrase best describes you in bed?
True to type, more females described themselves as "deeply in love" than males did, indicating once again that he's just not that into you. Yet the girls are equally unimpressed in another arena: Although almost twice as many boys liked to describe themselves as "hot and nasty" as did girls, more than three times as many girls felt "easily bored" compared with the boys. At least somebody's having a good time.
7. Masturbation: How many times per day would you call excessive?
Note: Two females and two males said they felt masturbating one time per day was excessive.