Top 5 Ways to Give Japanese Nuclear Radiation a Proper Welcome to Southern California

By Dennis Romero Thu., Mar. 17 2011 at 12:10 PM

Fox

Welcome.

So by now you've probably heard. Some of that radiation released by Japan's ailing Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station is likely headed to Los Angeles.

Don't be afraid. Don't ask if you should drop a potassium iodide pill. You shouldn't. Don't ask if you should stay indoors. Go outside

What you should be asking is how do we properly welcome this visitor from Japan in a uniquely Southern California style? (Don't bow. It's patronizing).

emelec

5. Be a douche and ask if it works out. (You know, 'cause "you're hot.").

Tags:

Fukushima, Japan, jet stream, Los Angeles, radiation, Southern California

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JVMFan

I am addicted to this story. The truth is, AMERICANS ARE ADDICTED to crime, war, TRAGEDY food, facebook, video games, blackberries, and lots more according to the new book "ADDICT NATION." This is an enlightening read about all kinds of addictions in the U.S..and is giving me a new perspective. We should be more like the Japanese.

Your Mother

The only reason why this is even remotely funny is because it's not even going to happen. It's freedom of speech, sure. Just a really dumb way to use it.

The Minuteman Project

Dear Readers,

While offensive and tactless, Ms. Wallace's right to freedom of assembly and speech certainly trumps censorship. The only thing worse than an insensitve, ill-fated attempt at humor is the suppression of one's right to engage in free speech or to suggest expelling someone for doing so.

As a victim of censorship by Columbia and Harvard universities, I have experienced first hand the blatant evil inherent in letting a handful of anti-free speech student scoundrels (Karina Garcia and Kyle De Beausset, respectively) pirate the First Amendment and declare who will be "allowed" to speak and who will be "punished" for speaking without "permission."

There are only two ways someone on U.S. territory loses his or her right to free speech; either by tyranny or by an Act of God. As far as I know,suppressors of free speech are not God.

If we are to remain a nation governed by laws as opposed to witch-hunting mobs, then we should not give credence to miscreants who believe free speech applies only to the meanest thugs wielding the biggest clubs.

Jim Gilchrist, President, The Minuteman Project

Damien Lefferts

Thank you for that over-long, completely offa-the-point, but completely within your rights as a human being and a citizen of the US of A. Especially poignant coming, as it does, from a representative of some of the meanest thugs.

Mikhail8427

Dennis! i bet you would like to take wallace's place you fag

Mikhail8427

Dennis Romero you mother fucker

E "Eddy" Edwards

Gad, even the threat of a radioactive rendezvous with Cesium-137 has caused satire seizures. Thank Gawd our snark is lead-lined.

Ishigawa

This was terrible. Dennis Romero should feel ashamed by treating such a catastrophe so jokingly. Thousands of people are dead, dying, or homeless and starving yet your insensitive enough to post something like this.

Torrey

Fantastic! What a great article ~ It sure is hard to make light of such a horrible tragedy but you somehow found a way. This has got to be some of the worst rubbish I have ever seen published online. You should be ashamed, and fired.

kungkow

Wow, I never thought about it like that before. Makes Sense.

www.anon-tools.es.tc

Mikey B

(sound) Wa Wa Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Branson

Completely agree w/ the above. Terrible post.

spencer

I love you LA Weekly, lord knows I do, but this was just awful.

Gina Figliuolo

Wow. Aside from the fact that there is nothing funny or clever about this piece, it's incredibly insensitive. What an offensive, mediocre attempt at satire.