Royal Wedding Is Amazing, Gorgeous, Stunning, Stylish, Dreamy, Bloody Delightful, Say Critics
'Twas the holy matrimony heard round the world: The great Prince William wed his favorite muggle, an impossibly lacy Kate Middleton, through the wee hours (PDT) last night. As soon as Kate stepped out of the queen's Rolls Royce, Hollywood's toughest and snarkiest critics were reduced to toe-kissing serfs with an incurable case of the love bug. Not a party pooper in the place.
And what was not to love! The hats... the airplanes... that freaking dress. (Even England's biggest crankster -- the sun -- came out of the clouds to catch a glimpse.) We felt Los Angeles melt from the sheer loveliness, halfway across the globe.
Outside, the British sun was out; inside Westminster Abbey, the church was brightly lit as the red carpet off-set Kate's gleaming white dress, and the glowing yellow outfit of the Queen made sure we didn't miss the generations spread out along the length of the altar and in the pews.
... Even at a time when England finds itself in political, social, and economic turmoil no more intense than in that of Game of Thrones, the wedding was, on its glittering surface, a momentary respite from anxiety and worry, as two people launched themselves into a private union and a new public life.
After months of speculation and headlines, today the world found out just who Kate Middleton had picked as her royal wedding dress designer. Kate looked sleek and sophisticated in an Alexander McQueen gown--designed by Sarah Burton, the label's creative director--when she married Prince William in Westminster Abbey.
An official statement from the royal family sums up why Kate chose the forward-thinking, U.K.-based fashion house, crediting it for combining "tradition and modernity with the artistic vision that characterizes ... McQueen's work."
As the world celebrates the Friday nuptials of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, A-list attendees David and Victoria Beckham are opening up to Us Weekly about taking part in the historic day.
"Today's ceremony was beautiful and heartfelt," the soccer star, 35, and his pregnant designer wife, 37, tell Us. "Catherine looked wonderfully elegant and we were honoured to be part of such a special, historical day for our country."
Actually, Us Weekly's only gripe was that the balcony kiss was too short -- so, as if by magic, the couple leaned in for a second round!
Elusive Hollywood snark queen Nikki Finke even posted a headline implying big Royal Wedding viewing numbers before there are any to report. Instead, she embeds a bunch more video footage, in case you were able to avoid it on every channel in the world last night/this morning.
We admit it: We stayed up all night to watch the damn thing. And if you thought Hollywood was excited, you should have seen the rosy-cheeked children of England, waving mini Brit flags like their lives depended on it. Not a harsh word in a crowd of thousands. (Apparently there were a few protesters, but only like three, and they were soon arrested. Even the Muslims held off.)
We're super sleepy, but it was worth it! Tell us about your slumber tea parties, if you wish. We know you had them. Your drunken Tweetpile told us so.