Arnold Love Child Jokes: Jay Leno vs. Conan [Video]
Arnold Schwarzenegger's revelation that he fathered a child out of wedlock 10 or so years ago was a present to America's L.A.-based late-night talk shows.
NBC Jay Leno gave it to his pal.
In fact the muscle-man actor has been giving steadily to the cause of monologia since 2003, when he elbowed Gray Davis out of the governor's office (and announced his run on Jay Leno's Tonight Show).
You thought he went away, but no, he's still got plenty to give. Here's what we caught from Leno and Conan last night ...
Leno (taken from his online preview and "live" monologue):
This explains why he never went to any USC games as governor. He's not a fan of Trojans.
He kept this hidden for over a decade, which is pretty shocking. I had no idea he was that good an actor.
... We found Bin Laden before we found Arnold's love child.
[What Schwarzenegger and unsuccessful Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman both have in common]: Both got in trouble for stiffing the maid.
It's not all bad for Arnold. Today he was offered a new job as head of the International Monetary Fund.
... I can officially now call myself Arnold Schwarzenegger Jr.
I'm the guy!
[Andy Richter: "You look terrible for a 10-year-old kid."]
Or great. I'm on steroids ... I crush a juice box!
This explains his campaign promise to leave almost no child behind.
[O'Brien takes note of Schwarzenegger's sincere apologies about the situation, then says ... ] But enough about Jingle all the Way, let's talk about this.
So now Arnold has made two Juniors that he doesn't want to talk about. Remember that movie from 1994? ... Well our writers sure did.
[Noting that he kept the love child from Maria Shriver for at least 10 years]: It took her this long to figure out what he was saying.
Its amazing how he hid it from Maria for 10 years. He might actually be a good actor after all