Google Doodle Ignores Cinco de Mayo -- Again

White as Larry Page's asscrack

It's one thing to brush off Cesar Chavez Day in favor of some old German corpse's 200th birthday (OK, fine, Robert Bunsen's burner is pretty nifty, as far as lab miracles go), but Cinco de Mayo? Damn. Google must really hate Mexicans.

Even in the U.S., everyone and their dog celebrates Cinco de Mayo. Sure, we might be compensating for stealing like half Mexico's land mass with a somewhat bullshit holiday that also allows us to chug Tecate 'til we tip the hammock (crossfaded in the name of cross-cultural sensitivity -- win-win!), but it's an international institution nonetheless. They don't call it Cinco de Gringo for nothing.

If elementary schools across the country can break out the piñatas and Flamenco skirts, you'd think Google could manage a lousy doodle. Before you go calling us a bleeding heart, consider some recent worldwide doodles:

The 226th birthday of John James Audubon. The 122nd birthday of Charlie Chaplin. The 50th anniversary of the first man in space. Oh, here's a good one: The 119th anniversary of the first documented ice cream sundae, on April 3.

Extra vanilla, por favor.

Ha!

Google's inferior search engines aren't above a little Cinco de Drinko fun today. Yahoo has an adorable (if hella racist) doodle with a piñata chasing a Mexican kid, and Bing keeps it classy with a pretty flag mural and Battle de Puebla factoids.

But not the Yankee Doodle nerds up at the Googleplex in Mountain View, so isolated from the reality of California's demographics that they don't think the largest Latino holiday in the Northern Hemisphere is of more importance than an ice-cream sunday. True story: They've never once dedicated the Google homepage to Cinco de Mayo.

If you're in the heckling mood, here are the soulless doodle designers who decided to take the day off. Maybe they're just too busy enjoying the worm at the bottom of the Tequila to break out the doodlepads?

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]