SoCal Should Secede From NorCal, Says Riverside County Supervisor Jeff Stone

By Simone Wilson Fri., Jul. 1 2011 at 8:45 AM

Jeff Stone hates NorCal. And Los Angeles.

God, Riverside County is so weird. It's the kind of place where Bachelorette contestants turn up dead in the desert and reclusive old women hoard $2 million moon rocks from the feds. And the kind of place where crazy Republican politicians think they're living in the 1800s, and they can just like, declare war on the union.

Yup. It just happened. County Supervisor Jeff Stone announced yesterday that he prefers Riverside County, and all its neighboring hicktowns, be left to their own weird devices. Essentially, he wants SoCal to secede from NorCal and rename itself "State of Southern California." (Original.)

Here are the counties who can be in his little conservative club: Riverside, Imperial, San Diego, San Bernardino, Kings, Kern, Tulare, Inyo, Madera, Mariposa and Mono.

So... we level-headed folk in Los Angeles ~~and Orange~~ County would basically be an island stranded in a sea of self-governing minutemen and meth heads. Great. (And we wouldn't even have any lesbians around to keep us sane.)

Here's Stone's reasoning -- cough, publicity stunt -- via the Los Angeles Times:

The split, Stone said Thursday, would allow officials in the new state to concentrate on securing borders, balancing budgets, improving schools and creating a vibrant economy.
"Our taxes are too high, our schools don't educate our children well enough, unions and other special interests have more clout in the Legislature than the general public," Stone said in a statement. "It has to change."

Translation: We want to kill/enslave all the border-hoppers and funnel the welfare budget into our private-jet fund, and not get any shit from those liberal homogays in Sacramento.

Everyone's freaking out like this is some batshit idea out of left field, but 1) he's obviously just doing it for attention, please don't give it to him; and 2) come on, guys! History! SoCal has always wanted to secede from NorCal -- and came this close during the Civil War. Only that time, L.A. was at the front of the pitchfork mob, and we were going to name ourselves Colorado.

So anyway. In light of Stone's hilarious new proposal, anyone down to secede from Riverside?

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]

Tags:

Civil War, county supervisor, Jeff Stone, NorCal, Riverside County, secession, SoCal

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Randall Arlebe

Forgetting the reason that Jeff Stone wants to secede, what about the fact that 35 million have the same number of senators as Wyoming (300,000 pop). Also Delaware, rhode Island, and other tiny states have two senators as well.

You know what we call 300,000 people in CA?

Long Beach.

Info

you fuckin moron, orange is included in the list as well, LA is not because its full of dumbfucks!!! seriously

State of Color

Instead of calling it Southern California - a name they don't deserve since Southern Cal is L.A. - they should call it Western Arizona. The motivation for this "movement" is the same vitriol which led to the Arizona boycotts. It doesn't matter, because any "white might" movement is will be short lived anyway. You can't secede away from a prophecy. No matter how hard you try, there will alwaays be Mexicans living next to you, just take a look at the most recent census. Unless whites start giving birth at 60, you can't buck the trend. Like death and taxes, you can't avoid a state of color.

Guest

stupid brown pride idiots, you'll drown together with your toilet boil of LA, thugs and welfare stealers breeding like rats

Info

wtf nobody cares of that shit. I have money, people with money live next to white people. I know about the # and %s of mexicans, but they all live together in huge clusters and very minimal spaces like LA That shit wont even fuckin bother me in my front beach property...If they had the EDUCATION to live next to me, i will welcome their bright mind. but to the rest of them, LOL

Well, I've been around a while, and this idea comes up from time to time, but it's usually Nothern California politicians pitching it because Southern California "steals" all of their water and such.

2 million gallons a minute are pumped up over the San Bernadino Mountains for LA alone.

Let them go. Save you money and water, and you can charge them lots of money for the water you decide to give them, or... they can die. Life is hard.

Californian

I have been saying they should do this for a long, long time. Southern CA is a drain on California not to mention giving CA a bad name. Then Southern CA would be full of republicans and nothing would get done. It is about time.

PamEllis

Seriously..Jeff Stone is just pulling a Sarah Palin. Just trying to raise his name recognition outside of Riverside County. This won't go anywhere.Also, if you like Jeff Stone...I hope you like scientology.Just google Jeff Stone and scientology. I dare ya.

Guest

"Waaaah. Ad hominem, ad hominem. Waaaaah some more. Ad hominem.

What do you guys think?"

That is what I read.

dragger x

More Statist spin from the government shills. I like how he thinks seceding from the state is a deceleration of war, I mean, how unintelligent is this editor really? It wasn't libertarian/conservative ideas that got California into the mess it is now; it was Liberal, big government, socialist-nanny-state ideas that it can tax people to oblivion, and overspend on social services to people who abuse government handouts. Instead of cutting anything from the government, they wanna spend more and tax more! God forbid you mention cutting any social service. Cuz I mean, that worked before, right? Where we taxed the middle class to death, and have the biggest red tape of any state in the country.

Doing the same thing over and expecting different results is called insanity.

PamEllis

It is actually 13 counties.

PamEllis

http://i53.tinypic.com/fusuc8....

ridiculous Riverside

So tell me, Simone, why would you possibly want to keep your level head mixed in with us wackos? Personally, I would rather not be part of your stranded island.

Great_Loner

As a Los Angelino, I support this, so I can ditch all you libtards and live in a place with lower taxes and less restrictive laws.

Greg Phillips

Perhaps. But also a more ignorant bigoted hick place.

PamEllis

Other sources say 13 counties.

Here is a map of what Stone wants:http://i53.tinypic.com/fusuc8....

He just wants to get his name in the papers.

PamEllis

According to other websites, the L.A. Times left off a few counties.http://politicalinsider.mydese... Stone wants 13 counties in his dominion...just not the coastal ones least likely to vote for an idiot like him.Here is what Southern California looks like to Jeff Stone:http://i53.tinypic.com/fusuc8....