Failure Makes You Bitter, Say Researchers at Concordia University

​Attention struggling writers, actors, dancers, singers -- and anyone else foolish enough to take on a career that inevitable leads to waiting tables on Melrose -- this one is aimed at you:

Constant, unrelenting bitterness can make you ill.

But not just any bitterness, mind you, the strain that makes you truly sick only comes from total personal failure.

Hoo-rah ...

Apparently a bunch of researchers at Concordia University in Canada have been examining the relationship between failure, bitterness and quality of life.

And Oh boy are they giddy about what they've found.

Failure was singled out as one of the top reasons people are bitter - not surprisingly accompanied by its good friends Anger and Recrimination.

"When harboured for a long time," one of the researchers has said, in their very best King's English, "bitterness may forecast patterns of biological dysregulation ... that can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function and physical disease."

Of course, bitterness can be avoided, say the researchers, so long as "people who experience failure can find other ways to fulfill their goals."

So there you have it -- if you can figure out a way around being a failure, you won't be bitter ... it's so simple.

Clearly.