L.A. Sex Toy Company to Launch Vibrator Into Space, Film Its Survival Story

By Simone Wilson Wed., Sep. 28 2011 at 10:30 AM

Categories: Sex

Artist's rendering.

Yes, this is a ridiculous marketing stunt for SexToy.com. Even more ridiculous, somehow, than the underground party bunker that porn studio Pink Visual is constructing for the coming apocalypse.

But who can resist the timeless tale of launching a formerly Earthbound species into space for the very first time? Especially when that species is shaped like a speeding bullet, packaged like a party favor and purposed with providing us endless pleasures.

The millionaire behind the Los Angeles website, who actually calls himself SexToy Dave, makes the argument that...

... he's "always been into firsts and that is how I made my money." Bla bla bla:

"I was one of the first on the web selling sex toys, first to have an adult affiliate program, the first to make three appearances on Bravo's hit show Millionaire Matchmaker and now the first online adult business with a space program."

Not sure how proving your best-selling vibrator can survive altitudes of 100,000 feet, armed with only a big solar-powered helium balloon and a GPS tracker, will prove nearly as lucrative as Internet sexiness or reality TV. But we're not the entrepreneurs here.

Who knows -- maybe the most X-tremely outdoorsy ladies among us will derive some extra pleasures from knowing their sex toys are more likely to survive their climb up Mt. Everest than they are. And in worst-case, "27 Hours" scenario, at least they'll know they're not alone.

The rest of us can watch the whole thing go down on the company's blog, as an HD video camera will be accompanying the little astronaut that could. (Aka, worst porn ever.) The bullet's ballsy mission, via press release:

The toy will have to withstand temperatures of -75 degrees Fahrenheit and conditions 10 times over normal cosmic radiation. The vibrator will be fully exposed to the elements, reach an altitude of 100,000 feet (~20miles) above the Earth's atmosphere, which is three times the cruising altitude of a typical jet plane.

We'd like to see man's best friend come out of that one alive.

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]

Tags:

outer space, publicity stunts, sex toys, SexToy.com, vibrators

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sex toys

This is definitely ridiculous for a launch ofvibrator. The company surely spent a serious amount for this ad.

anonymous

ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!they can hear and see what your visually thinkingthis is the absolute complete total truth

the reason alot of asians have completely expressionless faces, only associate with asians and dont associate with non asians very much is to avoid accidentally revealing that they can read read minds, if all over a billion asians were to show facial expressions all the time just as much as non asians, associate with non asians much more, and be much more friendly and talkative, then alot of them might accidentally reveal that they can read minds by accidentally showing a facial expression or dirty look when someone thinks, or visually pictures something in their mind they dont like or find astonishing or funny, and if they were all to associate with non asians alot more there would be alot more people around for them to accidentally show facial expressions when those other people think things they dont like, so they only associate with asians so there wont be anyone around for them to see that and have any accidents happen in the first place

think about it, its not normal how alot of them act, and the entire way they act is all to hide their mind reading abilities, it makes perfect sense to do all of that to hide that they can read minds, because all of that is the perfect way to do it!every single asian on the planet is hiding their mind reading abilities, they will lie about having mind reading abilities forever!because they value hiding their mind reading abilities more then their own lives!thats why nobody knows about it!

try thinking, best yet visually picturing in your mind something something absolutely crazy as you possibly can when you are around asians, and try looking for asians who give people particular looks, especially dirty looks for what appears to be for completely no reason, that is them giving people looks when they hear and visually see someone thinking something they dont like, find funny or astonishingit still happens despite a large number of them having completely expressionless faces all the time, it would just happen alot more if none of them had completely expressionless faces all the time, its not uncommon!

i know this sounds crazy, impossible, and completely unbelievable, BUT IT ISNT CRAZY WHEN ITS TRUE

the reason you think this truly is crazy, impossible and unbelieveable is because our society has propagandized people into believing that nothing extra ordinary is real and that is really is impossible, and that its crazy to think that its true that people can read minds, all just to cover up that asians can read minds! who says that cant exist? the people who have mind reading abilities who are trying to cover it up!

you have to spread the message!!!!!the world has to know about this!!!!!!

Erica

yes asians can read minds.when i was at a wok place last week i was thinking about how the food was terrible after i had already eaten. right when i starting thinking that the asians guy working there started looking at me with this angry offended look. i looked up to see him looking at me and he quickly looked away as fast as he possibly could !!!it sure appeared that was trying to cover it up !yes that asian guy can read minds that proves it right there !