'We Are the 53 Percent' Claims Middle Ground Between Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street, Tells Protesters to 'Suck It Up'

Categories: Occupy L.A.

we are the 53 percent.jpg
the53.tumblr.com
"My name is Abe and #IAmThe53"
See also: "Occupy L.A. Now Allowed to Camp on City Hall Lawn: Why Are Politicians Sucking Up to Protesters?"

Our very own Gene Maddaus created an enlightening similarities chart between Occupy Wall Street and the Tea Party yesterday. In short: Same approach, opposite ends of the spectrum.

But there's a new rebel in town:

A middle-of-the-road Tumblr by the name of "We Are the 53 Percent" -- the portion of Americans who still pay their income taxes, according to The Blaze. Followers have been posting photos of their faces next to pieces of paper detailing the workaday sob stories that are their lives.

Who do they blame for their angst?

Not the fat cats. Not the crazy communist libs. Nope -- the 53 percent blame themselves. (And, in a couple cases, our country's "elitist career politicians." Haven't quite gotten the unified message thing down yet.)

We're guessing these are the same 20- to 30-something smart-alecs who've been making snide comments on all the Occupy Wall Street (and Occupy L.A.! And Occupy Vegas! And beyond!) stories. Like, "Check out all the Burners, in search of their afterparty." Or, "How many causes can one movement have? Go back to Berkeley. Or your mom's house. Better yet, get a damn job. At a labor union, I bet."

The 53 percent, you see, don't have time to leave their cubicles and ask selfish questions of the 1 percent. In the words of one guy's paper story:

"I don't blame Wall Street because it doesn't matter what Wall Street of anyone else does. I am responsible for my own destiny because of me and me ALONE."

Almost Randish, no? Here's another:

"I don't have health insurance, but I don't blame Wall Street. Stop whining, suck it up, and God bless the U.S.A."

Hmmm. Not sure we get his drift. And the website's barebones self-explanation -- that its members "actually, like, pay taxes in America and don't just, like, hang out protesting stuff all day" and "pay for those of you who whine about all of that... or that... or whatever" doesn't clear things up much.

However, according to The Blaze, the 53-percent Tumblr is run by Mike Wilson, the same guy who made "Michael Moore Hates America," and his friends.

Right. Of course. Now we get it: Y'all just hate greasy hair and patchouli oil! Well, at least we can relate on that front. Let us know if your movement transcends the Internet and spreads to Los Angeles; we'd be totally down to go deoderant-bomb City Hall.

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]

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