11-11-11: Mayan Elders, Crystal Skulls to Reveal Secret to Humanity's Survival at LAX Sheraton

crystalskullsevent.com

All that and brains, too.

Why waste a perfectly freaky-deaky aligning of days/months/years like 11-11-11 on something that's not a weekend-long paranormal bash at the Sheraton by the airport, teaming with around 600 hippie equivalents of Harold Camping and starring "ancient crystal skull guardians with their skulls, Mayan Elders and Crystal Skull Researchers"?

You're intrigued, as you should be. The 13 celebrity skulls in attendance will reportedly be revealing vital information on the future of mankind. Plus, nowhere else on Earth...

... will "so many ancient crystal skulls and Mayan Elders" come together, according to the event page. Well, this year at least. But if you're using Mayan wisdom as your guiding light, this also happens to be the last year ever. So that's a pretty big deal.

Tickets went for $200 each. They're all sold out, but if you stand outside the Sharaton at 6 p.m. the next few days, you might be able to glean some intel off a friendly face in the exiting crowd. Still be jealous, though:

On November 13, you will have an opportunity to have breakout sessions and private sessions with individual crystal skulls that you resonate with.

Here's a little more on the man-carved skulls, from another such conference in Arizona. (In which one elder alleges that the 52 original skulls were the Mayan people's official "keepers of knowledge" -- advising on everything from astronomy to farming to that notorious calendar.)

The Los Angeles Times, looking for a hard-hitting (read: fun-killing) angle to the three-elevens story, which clearly isn't a story at all, goes with the following local-news post: "11-11-11 doesn't mean much, mathematician says." Frowny face. But the Times does maintain an air of possibility, returning the calls of spiritual spammers in their junk folder for once:

Hari Jiwan, a teacher at Golden Bridge yoga studio in Hollywood, calls it a day of shifting cosmic direction that could go either way.

Gabrielle Bernstein, a life coach and meditation guide and the author of the book "Spirit Junkie," said she has 1,000 people signed up for her lecture, streaming live from New York City, on using 11-11-11 to draw "synchronicity" -- the force you use when you think of a long-lost friend and he suddenly calls you.

Then there are those of us who just believe six of the same numbers in a row look really cool.

Or want another reason to party, if Veteran's Day (and Friday, and Nigel Tufnel Day) wasn't enough -- much like this lucky little birthday girl. And that reminds us: Did anyone conceive on february 18, like we told you to? If so, start pushing, and your little girl may be as lucky.

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]