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Justin Bieber's Underage Sex Tale Could Have Unhappy Side Effect: Teen Boys Engaging in Early Sex Could Have Small Endowments

Categories: Sex

bieber l.a. jake.auzzie.JPG
jake.auzzie
Baby Beebs.
Good thing it's looking more and more like that 20-year-old woman's baby-daddy claim against L.A.'s own underage heartthrob Justin Bieber is a crock.

Turns out that teen boys who have sex at a younger age could end up with, well, smaller parts. Yeah, and you thought that guy in high school with the peach fuzz mustache who dated all the cheerleaders was so cool.

Turns out he might have smaller junk than Barry Bonds. Ohio State University research suggests, according to the school, that these high scorers could end up suffering from ...

... smaller total body mass as well as a decrease in accessory reproductive tissue, including the seminal vesicles, vas deferens and epididymis, as adults.

Bummer. So everything in life that's supposed to make you manlier -- steroids, high school sex, reading GQ -- actually has the opposite effect?

Read 'em and weep, kids.

Well, there is some hope. The Ohio State University study, released this week at the annual meeting of the Society for Neuroscience, used hamsters, not Biebers:

They found that these male animals with an early-life sexual experience later showed more signs of depressive-like behaviors as well as lower body mass, smaller reproductive tissues and changes to cells in the brain than did hamsters that were first exposed to sex later in life or to no sex at all.

It's possible that boy junk reacts differently to early access. We hope.

Anyway, Bieber's still a virgin, right?

[@dennisjromero/djromero@laweekly.com/@LAWeeklyNews]

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9 comments
Armydicked
Armydicked

What a Crock of Shit!!!  What is the control sample for this 'alleged' study and who paid for it?  Bobby Jones University? Baptist Bullshit Academy of Buggalosa, Mississippi?  It's a fact that 97.86% of guys masterbate before they turn 15 (whereas only 36% of girls do). 

So what is this study telling us? If I turned 13 and I start banging my Pre-algebra teacher I'll wind up with SMALL COXX diease b-u-t if I snag my dad's Playboy (the one with Lohan or Marge Simpson vamping around like Marlyn Manson) and 'Punish the Bishop' my junk will be as big as LONG DONG SILVER's?  Or if I love Jesus and remain celebrate until I marry at Thirty, my junk will be so long that I'll have to flip it over my shoulder just to walk down the street?  Who's telling you such lies?!!!  Tell them if they pass the bar exam, they would be a natural to work for the Office of the Judge Advocate General (ARMY JAG Corps). 

Mrnobody
Mrnobody

Can you just leave kids alone?

Rodamaan
Rodamaan

How are they not leaveing kids alone they a just reprinting something some one wrote

Dumbass
Dumbass

"could", "might", "according to the school". post something COOL.

Mi
Mi

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