Occupy L.A: Top 5 Would-be City Giveaways That Might Inspire Occupiers to Give up The Lawn

Ted Soqui

Occupy dis bus bench.

Leave it to L.A. leaders to make a half-assed offer to Occupy L.A. in an attempt to extract demonstrators from the City Hall lawn. The city said occupiers could take over the old old B. Dalton Bookstore space in the nearby, subterranean L.A. Mall if they gave the lawn a permanent break. Occupiers pretty much gave the city the finger in response.

Now Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and the LAPD have told Occupy L.A. that it's time to take a hike (and cops in riot gear have been on standby). But the demonstrators remain (some camped in treetops, no less).

What will it take to get Occupy L.A. to move? You know we have a Top 5 list for this:

1ncognito

Free weed. That's right, we said it. L.A. city Councilman Jose Huizar is proposing that all medical marijuana dispensaries in the city be outlawed and closed. He's been a medical pot supporter, but Huizar says a recent California court ruling is basically tying the hands of cities like Los Angeles, which wouldn't be able to regulate collectives the way they want to (the ruling is being appealed). So what's going to happen to all that fine, retail-grade bud should our fine city's storefront herbal scene dry up? Seize it and give it to the occupiers! An ounce each handed to them as they step off the lawn: Just witness how fast those tents come down. (Silly, we know, but it gets better ... ).