Palmdale Thief Dresses Up as Walmart Employee, Walks Out With 4 Flat-Screens
On the night of New Year's Eve, a man dressed top-to-bottom in the Walmart employee uniform took off with four flat-screens at the superstore's Palmdale branch, CBS LA is reporting.
mockpaperscissors.com Need some help with those TVs, ma'am?
That's one way to give the middle finger to the Walton empire: By hitting those 1-percenters in their profit margin, where it counts. (OK, they probably could give less of a crap about another random theft out in Palmdale. But the one-man heist of the year had to be pretty satisfying for its architect, nonetheless.)
So smooth was this master of disguise...
... that only now, a week after the fact, has the covert operation been discovered via security footage.
"He walked in the back, loaded up four TVs into a shopping cart with the appearance of he may have been helping a customer and walked out of the store," Palmdale Sheriff's Sergeant Dave Moore tells CBS. (We've contacted sheriff's officials for the full surveillance video.)
He didn't cut straight to the chase, either. Before cornering his prey, the thief allegedly took his time "[posing] as a Walmart greeter -- complete with the familiar vest and name tag."
CBS LA The thief in action.
And judging by his physical description, he needed all the inconspicuous he could get:
The suspect on the surveillance tape appears to be between a black male between 40 to 50 years old, bald and about 6 feet tall and weighing approximately 250 pounds.
If you happen to know this genius -- or anything about him -- the Palmdale sheriff's station is asking you to 'fess up at (661) 272-2400. Until they catch him, though, we gotta admit: Nice work, man. Not sure why no one thought of the smiley-face uniform thing before. Worked like a charm.