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Palmdale Thief Dresses Up as Walmart Employee, Walks Out With 4 Flat-Screens

Categories: Crime

smiley wal mart greeter.jpeg
mockpaperscissors.com
Need some help with those TVs, ma'am?
On the night of New Year's Eve, a man dressed top-to-bottom in the Walmart employee uniform took off with four flat-screens at the superstore's Palmdale branch, CBS LA is reporting.

That's one way to give the middle finger to the Walton empire: By hitting those 1-percenters in their profit margin, where it counts. (OK, they probably could give less of a crap about another random theft out in Palmdale. But the one-man heist of the year had to be pretty satisfying for its architect, nonetheless.)

So smooth was this master of disguise...

... that only now, a week after the fact, has the covert operation been discovered via security footage.

"He walked in the back, loaded up four TVs into a shopping cart with the appearance of he may have been helping a customer and walked out of the store," Palmdale Sheriff's Sergeant Dave Moore tells CBS. (We've contacted sheriff's officials for the full surveillance video.)

walmart greeter.jpeg
CBS LA
The thief in action.
He didn't cut straight to the chase, either. Before cornering his prey, the thief allegedly took his time "[posing] as a Walmart greeter -- complete with the familiar vest and name tag."

And judging by his physical description, he needed all the inconspicuous he could get:

The suspect on the surveillance tape appears to be between a black male between 40 to 50 years old, bald and about 6 feet tall and weighing approximately 250 pounds.

If you happen to know this genius -- or anything about him -- the Palmdale sheriff's station is asking you to 'fess up at (661) 272-2400. Until they catch him, though, we gotta admit: Nice work, man. Not sure why no one thought of the smiley-face uniform thing before. Worked like a charm.

[@simone_electra / swilson@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

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13 comments
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Eddiejohn4
Eddiejohn4

So stealing is nice work? what a fruitloop you are.

Maxine
Maxine

I agree with you EddieJohn.. Nothing like encourging grand theft!  It may be funny in some circles, but an article writer adding a comment on his piece that this theft and stealing is "nice work" should be looking for new work himself. 

Janikins
Janikins

I don't think there is anyone matching that description:

"The suspect on the surveillance tape appears to be between a black male between 40 to 50 years old, bald and about 6 feet tall and weighing approximately 250 pounds."

How does one get between a black male? Are we in fact looking for a superhero?

Ora_Mi
Ora_Mi

Danny Ocean appeared unfazed by the brazen nature of the heist. He was Quoted saying,

"my five year old kid could have pulled that of".

Ocean's son was not available for comment.

purplepenquin
purplepenquin

Anyone else see the "Improv Everywhere" video where they had a couple dozen people show up at Best Buy while dressed like employees?This report helps explain why the manager in that clip was so nervous....

Кабель HDMI
Кабель HDMI

That probably bugged the guy watching the security monitor screens.

If every customer in the store walked inside dressed as a Walmart employee, his heart would probably skip more than a beat or two.

Maybe they need to revise their security polices.

sengroo
sengroo

lol, you have to admit dude thats a pretty slick idea. Wow.www.Total-Privacy dot US

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Gneiss guy
Gneiss guy

How's it feel to be an idiot?

MacHarborGuy
MacHarborGuy

i'd ask you the same question as you no doubt just questioned an automated script.

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