Oscars Street Closures: Where in Hollywood to Avoid This Week (Unless You're Brad Pitt)

Silly commoners with their silly street closures.

Obama traffic got nothin' on Oscars traffic.

When the president breezes through town for some big Hollywood campaign cash, we get stuck on Wilshire or Santa Monica for a little longer than normal. Grumble grumble, etc. (And he's graciously got a tax-paid helicopter to take some of the pressure off.)

But when the Academy Awards (AHHHHH) set up shop outside/inside the Kodak Theater (AHHHHH) at the heart of crammy Hollywood ...

... we get a list of street and sidewalk closures the length of Glenn Close's schnoz.

So annoying and exciting, all at once! Here's where to avoid, courtesy of Oscars.org. Although we do recommend, if you haven't done so before, getting all touristy and snuggling as close to the barricade as possible with your Instagram a-ready, just once. The Academy Awards may be arbitrary and frumpy and old-white-man, but their air of glamor can give you an I-love-L.A. high rivaled only by finding a severed head in the Hollywood Hills.

Now (Tuesday):

By Friday:

By Saturday:

By Sunday (click to enlarge):

/td>

If you're more of a weird textual learner, see the next page for a written-out version of the closures. Really, really confusing, but maybe you're into that kind of thing.