Jamie Lynne Grumet, TIME's Breastfeeding Covergirl, Can't Stop Posing for Creepy Magazine Covers

pathwaystofamilywellness.org

Return of the Grumet lactation machine.

We love breastfeeding. We especially loved breastfeeding when we were small, bald and toothless. It's a beautiful thing, and no woman should ever be told when or where she can or can't breastfeed. Because when baby hunger strikes, Mother Nature abides, mmk?

But what we can't figure out is why Jamie Lynn Grumet's breastfeeding four-year-old Aram always gets the urge at the exact moment she's being photographed for another magazine cover.

Grumet, a stay-at-home mom on the regular circuit of L.A. nursing activism -- including nurse-ins at Target and the star-studded "Boobie Palooza" -- was catapulted into the public eye in May, when she posed all sexy-like on the cover of TIME. Attached to her left nipple, with a look in his eyes that said "Dream on, America," was four-year-old Aram.

TIME Magazine

Mommy-rights activist extraordinaire.

That cover was most controversial for Lynn's unabashed MILFiness, and the way TIME played it up with her stance and spaghetti straps. Who wants to get turned on by nursing session?

In response, Grumet's latest cover shoot -- for Philadelphia magazine Pathways to Family Wellness -- is almost a critique of TIME's approach.

Pathways editor Jeanne Ohm explains that the cover story...

... explores the real life and values of Jamie Grumet, the attachment parenting (AP) mother featured in a Time magazine cover story that led, with intent, to polarized and sensationalized media mayhem. In addition to portraying the photo that could have been on the cover of Time magazine, this issue of PATHWAYS gives Jamie a chance to express her balanced message of respect and hope for a much-needed understanding of AP and our society.

So the parenting magazine went for a softer, more fully clothed photo of Grumet's family all cuddled up on the couch, watching her breastfeed Aram with ethereal smiles of approval. Five-year-old Samuel, Grumet's other (adopted) child, even looks a little jealous -- perhaps because he's used to latching onto the other side at the same time.

Bleh. We feel creepy for even commenting on Grumet's breastfeeding habits. But she's certainly ensured that we acknowledge them, by lining newsstands and blogs with various portraits of herself and Aram in their most intimate pose.

Thus also ensuring that this poor little person will live the rest of his life as That Kid Breastfeeding on the Cover of TIME Hella Magazines.

Like we said, breastfeeding is awesome. But why does a growing contingent of L.A. power moms insist that we watch them breastfeed? The normalization part we understand, but what about the call for respectful privacy? Isn't that the point of the new health-care mandate that all businesses provide special lactation rooms in which its employees may nurse in peace?

OK, we'll stop, because we're waxing Grade A creeper right now. There's just something so sad and contradictory about becoming a breastfeeding celebrity. And indeed, so very Los Angeles.

You can next catch Grumet in action this Wednesday on Dr. Phil.

[@simone_electra / swilson@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]