George W. Bush Secretly Visiting USC
Liberals, start working on your shoe-throwing technique: Former President George W. Bush is coming to town.
According to an email forwarded to L.A. Weekly by a friendly tipster, the world leader who brought us such wars as "Afghanistan" and "Iraq, The Sequel" is quietly arriving at the University of Southern California on Nov. 18 to talk to young GOP types.
The email was sent by the secretary of the USC College Republicans, Lisa Ebiner Gavit, who cautioned the group's membership to employ a bit of small-c conservative discretion:
Here's the email:
I have some exciting information to share, but it needs to be kept confidential until further notice. The USC College Republicans have been offered a special invitation to attend an event with former President George W. Bush. He is coming to USC on Nov. 18.
If you are a current student who wants to attend, then please send us your 10-digit USC ID and your preferred email address. George Bush's people
will be sending you a personalized email invitation to the event. We
need your USC ID because only current students will be invited (sorry
alums!!). And again, please do not share this info with any other
So if you're reading this, keep it on the DL!
Model, actress and student Jennifer Massey, president of the USC College Republicans, confirmed the arrival of Bush II, Electric Boogaloo. Massey, who led a recent effort to bring a chunk of 9/11 steel to USC for a permanent memorial, says she's under the impression that Laura Bush is coming as well.
When asked why all the cloak-and-dagger, Massey says, "I think because the last time he was here, there weren't students. They wanted to make sure students were there this time."
Another possible interpretation could be that Bush's handlers are trying to pack the crowd with Republicans and other sympathizers.
"From what I've heard, everyone's really excited," says Massey, who just happens to be from Texas. "Personally, I'm very excited. I've never met a president before."
Bush must be excited, too: According to the Center for Public Integrity, the failed oilman makes between $100,000 and $150,000 per speaking engagement, the annual tuition of two to four USC students.
No word yet on where, exactly, the event will be held, or if Bush is indeed giving a speech or just, I don't know, doing an interpretative dance or reading from The Pet Goat.