Victory.

It is not, however, something that is going to be sold this week at auction.

The British auction house that had put a vial of what it said was genuine blood from the 40th president up for bidding (it had been drawn following the assassination attempt on his life in 1981), has pulled the plug on the much publicized sale and has vowed to bring the blood back to California:

Nate 'Igor' Smith

But history still awaits. We reported last week that a top city official has requested that a report on how to enforce this rule be put off until almost the end of summer.

Now comes word that figuring out how to police prophylactic use is in the hands of ...

Cortines.

The L.A. public school system continues to appear dysfunctional after years and years of so-called reform, a board takeover by L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and his allies, and superintendent after superintendent.

The latest scandal involves the last superintendent, Ramon Cortines, who the L.A. Unified School District today said had engaged in "consensual adult behavior" with a male underling, Scot Graham, a senior facilities manager.

Yep:

Chester Paul Sgroi

Charges filed by the district attorney against 41-year-old suspect Anthony Craig Chambers allege that he was lying in wait and pulled a shotgun from a suitcase and pulled the trigger twice after walking up to driver Alan Thomas on an otherwise empty bus.

Today Chambers was charged with ...

Noel Hidalgo

Generic Facebook hottie.

Lizet Sariol was sentenced today to two years probation and 100 hours of community service after she phoned in a fake threat to an airline saying her ex-lover on-board posed a threat to the LAX-to-Paris flight, U.S. Attorney's Office spokesman Thom Mrozek told the Weekly.

Making matters worse for the Romeo in question:

Jayme Frye

One thing you can't have is chickens. Long associated with the backyard barrios of Pacoima and East L.A., the chicken, however, is coming home to roost in the estates of the sustainable set.

And so, one woman wants San Marino to let her have her fowl:

Officer-involved shooting, 2.0.

The buyback allows civilians to turn in their firearms -- no questions asked -- in exchange for Ralphs or VISA gift cards ranging from $100 to $200, depending on the weapon.

But because this launcher was only a "training-type weapon"...

Ben.

Most of his lawsuit against the electronics maker has been dismissed, reports The Hollywood Reporter.

Stein said that he was dropped as a pitchman for the company after it learned about ...

Breitbart surely would have gotten to the bottom of this.

Fans of the late Andrew Breitbart are speculating as to why a forensic technician from the L.A. County Coroner's Office would suddenly drop dead on the day Breitbart's autopsy results were released.

They were two of the strangest L.A. deaths so far this year:

In a rare showing of rage and emotion, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa walked out of a Metro meeting today after L.A. County Supervisor Mike Antonovich said that a proposed a permanent extension of a transportation tax could amount to "gang rape" of some communities.

A witness at the executive management committee meeting this morning said the mayor straight flipped out after Antonovich complained that the tax extension was being done without consulting with various communities and constituencies in the same way things were done when the tax, Measure R, was passed the first time around a few years back:

SMPD via Patch

Santa Monica PSA: Beware of blondes wielding wine glasses.

Patch is reporting that Anastasia Atwil, a 40-year-old blonde charged with assaulting a stranger last December at Miyako Restaurant, has plead "no contest" (aka, guilty without really admitting it) and is now on probation.

She allegedly cracked a wine glass over fellow patron Steve Noble's head...

NBC

Fake Kardashian and fake Kanye.

Mayor of Glendale.

Add one more non-skill to that plate.

On an unaired clip from her sister's reality show, Khloe & Lamar, Kardashian says she's gonna do it:

Mission Impossible / IMDB

It happened at the Regatta Seaside at Lincoln Boulevard and Maxella Avenue Saturday morning, according to KTLA News. The victim lives on the 15th floor.

The strangest part of this caper:

Paul Koretz.

L.A. City Councilman Paul Koretz threatened to "clock" a man who said "heil, Hitler" to the council during a public comments period at City Hall today, according to The City Maven.

The Westside city leader reportedly said he was upset about the comment because his father had to flee Nazi Germany.

Here's how it went down, according to the Maven:

Mean Girls

He tweeted the sweet news this week after defending the victim, who's the daughter of friends.

The three teens won't be arrested, cops say, but ...

Vimeo

Just when we were starting to think the world was a terrible place.

Up until then, nine-year-old Monroy only really had one customer: L.A. filmmaker Nirvan Mullick. But thanks to a flash mob Mullick arranged via Facebook and Reddit...

Cops will be swarming the venue, the parking lots and even surrounding parks in an effort to prevent the kind of opening-day violence the befell Giants fan Bryan Stow last year. He was beaten and put into a coma.

One of the more ingenious moves by officers this time around?

KTLA

The county should hire this guy for distracted-walking enforcement.

But this time, he stuck around until morning -- causing an L.A. media frenzy we've not seen the likes of since Caltrans shut down the 405.

KTLA's helicopter followed him down Briggs Avenue...

Project X

The Twitter account LAScanner reported that as many as 500 people gathered at a home in the 1300 block of Holmby Avenue Saturday night, drawing officers from across the LAPD's western divisions.

Arriving cops called for more backup and even ...

@TheLeadType via Twitter

I just got a feeling about this one.

The prize is at $640 million -- the biggest ever.

And as long as they're being unreasonable, these thousands of lottery hopefuls are all figuring they should probably go to the same liquor store to buy their tickets...