Cannes Day Zero: J. Hoberman, Live from France

In addition to L.A. Weekly's Scott Foundas, Village Voice's longtime film critic J. Hoberman will be filing regular dispatches from this year's Cannes Film Festival. Day zero: Hoberman plans his schedule, looks for strawberries, equates Quentin Tarantino's proudly misspelled Inglourious Basterds to a bad T-shirt.

Inglourious Basterds a/k/a I'M WITH STOOPID!!!

Things to do: find local strawberries, locate cheap couscous; cluster outside the Palais as several dozen locals seem to be doing a full 24-hours before the opening night film, Pixar's 3-D wonder Up; page jet-lagged through the festival catalogs, pondering the gnomic film descriptions and trying to plan a strategy.

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