Terry Richardson

Party's over, cheapskate.

See also: LA Weekly's print profile on Phil Pavel, "ringmaster of the Chateau Marmont."

On July 31, Lindsay Lohan was given until noon the next day to gather up all her crap from Suite 33 at West Hollywood's luxurious Chateau Marmont -- the Elizabeth Taylor jewels, the Sam Magid jewels, the steaming pile of cigarette butts -- and find someplace else to crash pro bono.

A stern letter from hotel manager Philip Pavel, obtained by TMZ and posted in the wee hours this morning, shows that Lohan was banned from the premises for refusing to pay her $46,350.04 bill for June and July.

Ah, well. It was a good two months:

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Splash News

Short was arrested on Lohan's doorstep last New Year's.

Leave it to veteran Westside paparazzo Tony Vera (you know, the guy who Mike Tyson punched in the head at LAX, then lived to tell the tale) to pick Lindsay Lohan's stalker out of the Venice Boardwalk crowd.

Getting him to talk was another story.

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Atlanta Honda

Lohan's Porsche, in better days.

More Lohan news for this fine hump day: "Lindsay Lohan's Venice Stalker Says He Was Only Trying to Tell Her to 'Drop the Marilyn Monroe Image'."

Though her sex life is getting stranger and her face is bloating out of control (so much so that the paparazzi recently mistook her for Debbie Harry), Lindsay Lohan has avoided any major missteps with Los Angeles law enforcement these last few months.

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Editor's note: The photos of Lindsay Lohan previously published in this post have been removed at the request of Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. ("Playboy"), which did not grant permission for use of its materials.

Updated at the bottom: Hef decides to release the issue early after making a (feigned?) fuss about the leak.

Lindsay Lohan's entire Marilyn Monroe-themed nude Playboy spread, for which she was reportedly paid $1 million by the silken-robed one, leaked this morning. (The "classy" cover leaked earlier this week.)

TMZ says "the company has printed thousands of extra copies in anticipation of a sales boom."

Oops. Hugh Hefner's apparently a little old to understand how the Internet works. (Also too old to be proposing to 23-year-olds, but whatever. The world has come to accept his almost artful perviness by now.) Photos -- straight from everyone's favorite Holmby Hills mansion -- below.

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TheInsider.com

Larger-than-life version, below.

Update: Oops. The entire spread leaked one week early. Sorry Hef!

Sorry for caring, when there's real Los Angeles news on the line -- but the second we saw, via New York Post Tweet, that Lindsay Lohan's much-hyped Playboy cover had leaked, we couldn't help fawning over it a little.

"It's a classic tribute, inspired by the original Tom Kelley nude pictorial of Marilyn Monroe," Hugh Hefner foreshadowed in October. He called the cover shot "classy -- very classy." And as impossible as it is to make our deteriorating Venice Beach neighbor look classy...

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ABC7 screenshot

Happy lawyer, confused Lohan.

And Lindsay Lohan's love affair with the L.A. County morgue rages on.

Judge Stephanie Saunter waxed somewhat soft at the young blonde train wreck's much-anticipated sentencing today, demanding she serve about two more months of community service at the most morbid department in the county. (Also 30 days in jail, beginning in November, and 270 more if probation is violated again. But we all know how that will go, what with prison overcrowding and those pouty Botox lips working for our dear defendant. Update: The sheriff's department tells TMZ that Lohan will only spend only 6 days in jail. Update: Sheriff's officials now tell TMZ that she'll only be processed, never jailed -- "out without even having to change her clothes." Sweet deal.)

One stipulation, however: Morgue officials "seem to have an issue with your Tweeting," said the judge. "I can't order you to stop Tweeting"...

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6. This could be you!

The real hurricane today is ravaging the West Coast, you wussies:

Pitbull has made a big wet whopper of a proposal to Lindsay Lohan on Univision. He's proposed that, instead of battling him in court over what she believes to have been an unflattering, "derogatory" name-check on his Top 40 electro ballad "Give Me Everything," she should just let him take her to the VMAs.

Now, the VMAs can be an embarrassing place to try out new & zany things, and we wouldn't recommend this to just anybody. But hear us out, girl:

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Twitter via @lindsaylohan

Updated after the jump: Lohan has been granted a restraining order against the man, identified as David Cocordan. Apparently he's sent her over 100 violent/sexual texts, leaves chocolates on her porch and thinks they're in a relationship. Gross. Originally posted May 16 at 4:20 p.m.

Oops. Maybe we shouldn't have gone and posted the exact address of a certain celebrity drama magnet when she made the big move from WeHo to Venice this January. (You're welcome, stalkers!) Looks like the wrong creep may have gotten a hold of it:

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TMZ

Update: Steamin' fresh KVB radio asks some Venice bartenders whether they would serve Lindsay. And you can bet Betty Ford won't like their answers! Originally posted at 2:22 p.m.

We're feeling really creepy right now, but we just saw a video of Lindsay Lohan's Mexican moving crew hauling all her shit into a new four-bedroom in Venice, and... we know exactly where it is.

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Having a more affectionate moment

Updated after the jump: Predictably, this has gotten way out of control. Betty Ford staffer and Lohan duke it out on TMZ. Originally posted Dec. 21 at 1:20 p.m.

Since we happen to have an entire category on this here news blog for all things Lohanian, we might as well indulge in a little LiLo gossip for a rainy day, via the Betty Ford Center rehab facility.

OK. So apparently, when you're at Betty Ford (and you're Lindsay Lohan), you're still allowed to go out with your friends all night and stumble in the front door feeling, erm, silly in the wee hours.

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Technorati.com

Justice has been served

Beverly Hills Superior Court Judge Elden Fox is a sucker for smoker's voice. At 9:30 a.m. this morning, City News Service reported that Fox pardoned L.A. bad-girl (and sometimes actress) Lindsay Lohan of her pending sentence, ruling that she will instead be allowed to continue rehab at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage.

"I'm not going to be manipulated,'' Fox said. Even experts like Perez Hilton confirmed before the hearing that LiLo's 8-Ball read "Things aren't looking good, Girl."

But what lawman in his right mind could say no to those "Parent Trap" freckles?

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Lindsay Lohan won't be serving the full 90 days due to overcrowding, but she'll serve some time. Here's some advice:

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Go away.

A boutique called Tough as Nails is suing the starlet/train wreck Lindsay Lohan for $17,000, alleging she bought clothes, jewelry and accessories and said her business manager would settle up, but the cash never arrived, according to the suit.

In March Lohan had to wait in line at a club -- the horror! -- and promptly said she was considering moving to New York City. Given that store owners around here sometimes expect to get paid in addition to the whole waiting-in-line thing, perhaps it's understandable she'd want to go East, though there's no reason to expect New Yorkers won't be totally merciless with her. They can be that way there.

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